Thursday, June 24, 2010

Home is where people feel comfortable saying messed up sh*it

Side comment about my wonderful trip to visit the family. I was out with two good friends after my graduation. One of them is in her 50s, she was a teacher at my HS when I was there. And the other is a friend I have known since middle school. Ms.50 asks what type of law I'm thinking of going into. I responded corporate. Her reply was a bit surprising. She proceeded to tell us all about the boyfriend of her daughter, son of a corporate female lawyers. He doesn't feel comfortable cooking in their kitchen b/c his mom freaks if things get messed up. He has been raised by nannies and prefers their house b/c it feels more like a home. The older brother of the bf is a drug addict and they both hate their mother, who is in a loveless marriage. FAIL!

My friend and I just sat there is shock, mozzarella stick cheese hanging from our mouths as she went through this story. I knew she wasn't saying this was how my life was going to end up, but I had just finished telling her that we were going to get a nanny once I started working...awkward. I wasn't angry, she was very tired, almost to the point of delirium, but it certainly made me think, great another mother-as-a-working-lawyer-and-totally-ruining-the-lives-of-her-children-and-husband. I haven't even started working yet and I already have this anxiety. That and all of the scumbag lawyer jokes my great uncles insists on telling me. His first words to me are always, "So you're still going to become one of those scumbag lawyers?" (Insert joke). Good to see you again too. Nothing like family and close friends to make you doubt yourself.


  1. I also get the lawyer jokes already. And some guilt from my mother about being a working mom and ruining my kids' lives. Ugh. Where's the support, family??

  2. I know! The family can sometimes feel a bit too comfortable with the criticism. I guess it shows they care?

  3. Just inform your relative that even if the kids hate you, at least they'll love their trust funds, and that's the most important thing. That's the first thing they teach you in law school.

    (And don't let yourself get anxious about things like that. Nobody's forcing you to make a choice between devoting yourself entirely to your career or entirely to your family with nothing in between.)