Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Adult Diapers? Really?

I have just been advised twice in 2 days that I should buy adult diapers for after delivery. Seriously?! Seriously?! This is not instilling me with a lot of wonderful glowing pictures of new motherhood! Ugh, one more thing to add to my shopping list. And I thought buying tampons was embarrassing...

So, this is what I have learned about the first few weeks of being a mother from what everyone has told me. I will be in a lot of who-ha pain. I will be completely and totally sleep deprived. My boobs are going to hurt and if the latch isn't right, cracked and sore nips. It seems that I should be looking forward to constant leaking and crying. I know everyone is just trying to prepare me, but come on! Perhaps it's just a way of keeping my expectations in perspective. If everyone tells me how horrible it will be and then it's not so horrible, maybe I'll feel like I've lucked out and things are going great.

Maybe I'm just getting the jitters because it's all very quickly approaching. Items to buy: Baby Bjorn, infant seat cover, button down top pjs, slippers, labor ball, and miscellaneous baking stuff. The clock is seriously counting down! I just want to get home, be with my husband, stop living out of a suitcase, having a good 5 hours a day to devote to studying for my classes, begin outlining, wash all of the baby clothes and relax.

Everyone keeps commenting on how well I'm handling everything that's just because I don't have a private place to freak out. I feel bad about complaining at all for some reason I'm the poster child for being able to get through law school while pregnant and living like a nomad. I'm not huge, my extremities are their normal size, I can workout, I'm still going to classes and trying to push through my papers, but boy am I tired. I think the end being so close is getting to me. It ain't as easy as it seems folks!

8 comments:

  1. So, without adding to the trainwreck of "warnings," I will simply tell you that I used adult diapers after both my boys for a day or two, and yes, they were convenient. It's just like having a super heavy period for a couple days - it doesn't hurt you, but it is messy! Your other choice is the mesh panties and huge pads that the hospital gives you - I found the adult dipes more comfy and less prone to leaks.

    The hoo-ha pain is nothin'. I had tears with both of my boys, and this was the part of birth that most terrified me, and lemme tell ya it was absolutely no big deal. Surprisingly no big deal, both during and in recovery. I took a couple Motrin for a few days, and that was it. And I am a class A low pain threshold wuss. I had no interventions with my births, so I felt everything, and again I say, about the whole thing - surprisingly not a huge deal. Very manageable. However you decide to manage your labor pain (epidural? backrubs? narcotics? loud cursing?) I think the most important thing is having full and complete confidence in yourself, and amazing support. You will surprise yourself, pleasantly, I am sure. You have all the resources you need to get through it, and you may even somewhat enjoy it. It's very empowering, whether you have totally intervention-free birth, or a C-section, or anything in between. I don't want to go all hippy New Age crunchy granola on you - I just want you to know that, all joking aside, it is kind of cool to have the experience of facing something scary and challenging and performing like a rockstar. Plus you get the bonus of seeing your baby's face for the first time at the end of it all.
    As for the immediate aftermath - all of those things CAN happen, and I think it's important to know that nursing probably will hurt very much for the first couple of weeks. If it's important to you to nurse, then just know that the toe-curling ouchies of those first couple of weeks definitely end, and quickly, and then it becomes just a normal part of the rhythm of your day. As for the crying - after my first, I was in bliss. After my second, I was utterly depressed. Anything can happen, but if you have supportive family (and medical help, if you need it), again that is something you can power through.
    All this aside - the delight of the baby overwhelms it all. They are so tiny. So perfectly formed. You'll stare at the perfect shell of her ear. The unbelievably tiny size of his pinky nail. The creamy skin of her cheek. You just look and look and look - you can't drink in enough. Everything changes, and it's so wonderful. I can't tell you not to be scared or nervous, but I will tell you that I relive that time again and again in my mind, after the birth of my first baby, and count it as the single most fabulous time of my life - leaky boobs, adult diapers, sleeplessness and all. I hope the same for you!

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  2. Gillian said it much better than I could - ditto!

    As for the adult diaper issue: the first couple of days for me were the worst, and it was in the hospital so I used the mesh panties and bulky pads. I used Always thin pads at home afterward, and they were fine. If you go the Always route, you'll probably want to get some chucks to have for sleeping. (Also useful for children.) :)

    I demanded Vicodin for hoo-hah pain, and that worked out pretty well.

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  3. i second everything that the people above say. Definitely adult diapers because you will bleed after you give birth. My first was a c-section - emergency - and i used every single bit of pain medication that i could find and was still in pain. i also had PPD like you wouldn't believe - I cried all the time, couldn't bear to hold my son the whole nine yards.

    I JUST had my second ten days ago. It was a VBAC - pushed for 15 minutes, no pain meds - tore. I'm feeling the pain still but it's getting better and I have Vicodin for when I need it. I'm also pumping exclusively and feeding my daughter breast milk in bottles. I also have formula just in case.

    I think that the most important thing that you can keep in the back of your head is to be flexible in how you parent, especially during the first few weeks, and then, to try not to be too hard on yourself at the same time (easier said than done, particularly in my case!).

    If you need to vent, there are definitely other moms out there, including me and your other readers! You can do it!

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  4. You'll do great, don't worry. What I found amazing is that the stuff that seemed really scary (i.e. delivery) wasn't. The stuff that seemed like it should be really easy (i.e. breastfeeding) was ridiculous and never happened the way it was supposed to. The pregnancy is the toughest part!

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