{PP} Ultrasound #3

and more to come. I went to my fav OB/GYN today and had an ultrasound. They did all of the measurements, listened to the heart and tried to get good views of the head. That didn't work out. The baby was not cooperating with the whole show me your face and for the most part put his/her hands up in front of his/her face the entire time. I'm not sure if this is a big deal, but no one else seemed worried. As far as we know everything looks fine. I always get nervous about the baby just before an ultrasound, not quite sure why. The perk of an uncooperative baby is I get to have another u/s in 2 weeks. Yay for more baby pictures and Liam gets to be there! They wouldn't let me video the sonogram, so this is a definite perk.

Looking forward to more sonograms, feeling more movement and making it though next semester!

I'm so over this heat!

It has been completely unbearable. I have enclosed myself indoors except for the time I'm walking to the grocery store, class, gym, or to get some ice cream. I am instantly soaking wet with sweat the minute I walk out the door. I never really thought of myself as an insanely sweaty person, but now feel like I should just dump a bucket of salt water on myself before I leave the house. People on the streets look at me like a consumption victim of the deep south in the 1900s, wiping myself down with hankies as I walk. At least this provides an excuse for staying inside when it's nice and cool. This also means I'm generally sitting on my ass all day, which isn't the best plan either.

One thing that has kept me busy is packing up my place. My dad's family is going to come down next month to load everything up and take it to his house. Most items are being put into giant plastic containers and a few boxes. Other than that I only have one large comfy chair, sofa, dining room table and chairs, a small book case, tv/tv stand, and my bed. Since I won't be doing any heavy lifting I'm trying to make this as easy as possible. I'm also cleaning the bathroom, washing my hair and doing dishes like crazy to get rid of all of the household supplies I have on hand. Nothing worse than packing a half empty bottle of shampoo and I feel guilty throwing it away. I'm looking forward to the visit, it will be the first one my dad's whole family will have made to visit me. Here's to me having it all done by the time they get here! Let's just hope my dad is able to finish the basement apartment Z and I are supposed to be staying in during spring semester. If it isn't finished we'll have to rent an apartment and that will most definitely make me happy. Since my father has never had the track record of being reliable in his promises, we'll be sure to have the savings ready for an apartment just in case. Oh the joys of family!

Buying Baby Stuff

Today Liam and I bought a boatload of baby stuff on amazon.com. We know we are going to get gifts, but having the baby abroad means that the logistics of getting all that stuff to the actual baby are going to be hard. Between my family and friends I have no idea when people will be giving us stuff and if we will even be able to take it with us. We're taking 4 huge suitcases with us this summer to help set up Z's room. We have a crib sans mattress and that's about it in the house. We're going to buy a rocking chair w/ foot rest, dresser, changing table top for dresser, car seat, moses basket, bouncy chair and wardrobe there. The items we bought: Johnson & Johnson baby bath starter kit, onesies, mittens, receiving blankets, newborn caps, burp cloths, baby first aid kit, one Layette set, one super cute frog hooded towel and wash cloths, and socks. Nothing too crazy, but a little bit to get us started. I'm going to try to convince my mother to have a baby shower sooner rather than later, so I don't have to lug all this stuff from her house to school and then to Liam. I'd rather not, especially when I'm 36 weeks and hopping on a plane.

I'm starting a registry or I'll just start buying things myself. Any suggestions? Anything that's a must have? The nursery is pretty much a giant tan square without any furniture.

Grades

All of the grades came out finally! I was actually pleasantly surprised. It wasn't overwhelming, tears in my eyes, can't breathe happiness, but certainly satisfaction and a bit of a smirk. I'm surprise comes from the fact that I feel like I studied less in the spring. This might have something to do with me having more time for things non-school related and it feeling like I studied less when I just had more time to do other things. Well that said, it appears I can do this law school thing and the hardest part is over until the bar. I'm looking forward to my classes next semester and knowing that I actually picked them, they will be during the day, and I only have class 3 days/wk.

On another note, I don't know who is spreading this second trimester fallacy about tons of energy and pep, but it's LIES. Either that or I have mono, everyday at 2 I'm ready to crash. If a 30min-1hr nap doesn't follow, I'm like delirious until I finally pass out. I get at least 7 hours of sleep/night. Perhaps my child is drawing extra energy to develop its super powers in the womb. If this is the case, no worries. If not, there had better be a twin hidden in there somewhere! I want my nesting energy...

Running

For some reason I have to urge to start running. Talk about a crappy time to want to start a new exercise regimen. I want to run outside or at least start running outside. 2 days before I took my first HPT I started the couch potato to 5k running program. Once I got my BFP I stopped. If I had been further into it I would have kept going or at least just stayed at the last level I reached. On day 2 I was pretty much just walking quickly. I think wanting to run has more to do with knowing I won't be able to do it for a while once Z is born. A) While the weather will be nice at the house with Liam there isn't anywhere to run. Sidewalks are nill, running on the street is a recipe for making Liam a widower, and the stares are a bit much. B) Here, the city has such beautiful running trails. When I was in college I would go for walks or jogs around and it was a lot of run.

The main reason I want to run it because it's something I haven't really done full tilt and I think I won't be able to do it once Z is born, as in ever be able to do it. I have been thinking a lot about things I won't be able to do once Z is born. We're both so excited to meet him/her, but I realize my life is going to change pretty dramatically. While I am super excited I'm also a bit afraid. This is a huge change! Up until now my life has been pretty low-key, carefree, without much responsibility for anyone other than myself since graduating from high school.

I helped take care of my younger siblings while in high school (mom worked nights). This meant nights up with a puking kindergartner, going over homework, making sure everyone was dressed in the morning, had their breakfast, and didn't look like a squirrel was nesting in their hair. There is nothing more awesome than trying to wake up 2 kids who pretend not to hear you after their alarm goes off for the 5th time and trying to dress them while they are still "asleep". I have a bit of experience with kids, being the oldest of 5 kids, oldest of 15 grandchildren and for a long while I was the designated family babysitter. What freaks me out is all this was with other people's kids. Although they were family, I still got to give them back or at least wasn't the only person responsible for their well being. Most people thought I would put off kids for a long time b/c I helped so much with my sisters. I think it definitely pushed me in the opposite direction. I knew I wanted to have kids young. I didn't think it would be possible b/c of my career choice, but that was wrong. The attitude in my family has always been, 1 kid...psh, that's not really having kids, wait until they can start blaming each other for things and telling the other to stop touching them, 2...that's a good start, 3...getting there, 4...about right, so close. That was pretty much my family's view, why have 4 when you can have 5. We'll see if that idea keeps once we have our one.

I'm beginning to take my time with the little things. Oh crap I need to go get some milk. I put on my shoes, grab my keys, a couple of bucks and my phone and I run out to the store. Oh, you know what, I think I'll head to the bookstore too and maybe read for a few hours. In 6 months that process will be much more cumbersome. Put baby in stroller/carseat, check diaper bag, grab anything and everything we might need, etc. I don't think Liam has the same level of anxiety I have about this. I think it also has something to do with the fact I'll be the primary caretaker for Z's first year and a half. He gets to bring home the bacon, while I cook it up. Well not really, I almost never cook, so Liam gets to bring it home and cook it, but I'm in charge of the baby while he's working. I need to get rid of this anxiety, get to the grocery store, and stop living off of peanut butter, cereal and corn!

Home is where people feel comfortable saying messed up sh*it

Side comment about my wonderful trip to visit the family. I was out with two good friends after my graduation. One of them is in her 50s, she was a teacher at my HS when I was there. And the other is a friend I have known since middle school. Ms.50 asks what type of law I'm thinking of going into. I responded corporate. Her reply was a bit surprising. She proceeded to tell us all about the boyfriend of her daughter, son of a corporate female lawyers. He doesn't feel comfortable cooking in their kitchen b/c his mom freaks if things get messed up. He has been raised by nannies and prefers their house b/c it feels more like a home. The older brother of the bf is a drug addict and they both hate their mother, who is in a loveless marriage. FAIL!

My friend and I just sat there is shock, mozzarella stick cheese hanging from our mouths as she went through this story. I knew she wasn't saying this was how my life was going to end up, but I had just finished telling her that we were going to get a nanny once I started working...awkward. I wasn't angry, she was very tired, almost to the point of delirium, but it certainly made me think, great another mother-as-a-working-lawyer-and-totally-ruining-the-lives-of-her-children-and-husband. I haven't even started working yet and I already have this anxiety. That and all of the scumbag lawyer jokes my great uncles insists on telling me. His first words to me are always, "So you're still going to become one of those scumbag lawyers?" (Insert joke). Good to see you again too. Nothing like family and close friends to make you doubt yourself.

Bidding

It's getting closer and closer to that time...on campus interviewing bidding. Ahhhhh, it's not really that bad, but it can be a little nerve wracking. I have my list, resumes, transcript and now I need a writing sample. I'll have a little bit of time to work on that before the bidding deadline, but I'm not looking forward to it! My bidding strategy is pretty much bid on places I really really want to be, if my summer job can't bring me on as a SA next summer. And by places I really really want to be, I mean places I have family/good friends. I'll have a 6/7 month old by then and I'm going to need some help. Working in an office other than the one I'm in this summer would be a good experience to see how an actual fully functioning/staffed office works. That said the benefits of being in the same place as Liam with our baby where we went to settle after I graduate certainly has its pluses even if I didn't get paid as much as a normal SA. For some reason these two years coming up seem a lot less daunting than 2 more years of school seemed after my sophomore year. I'm not sure what it is...maybe that I know I'll be incredibly busy. Or that there is an actual job at the end of the tunnel (even if it means working in Saudi!). Or I just want the school part of it to be over and done with!

The Family

I'm visiting the family. 2 of my sisters are graduating from HS this week, so it's a bit busy. Every time I come back this place still stays the same. My sister is very excited for her graduation. DH and I are getting her an iPod touch as a present. She has one, but it's being held together with tape, so it's probably best to invest in a case as well.

All of my other siblings can't believe I'm still in school. A direct quote was, "You can't still be in school, you're a grown up!" I wish this were true, but after two more years it certainly will be. Everything is always so hectic when I'm here. My family is huge and everyone is close by meaning that they all want to be seen. Squeezing all of this into a few days isn't exactly relaxing, but it has been fun hanging out with my brothers and sisters because they are all growing up so fast. They are also very excited about becoming aunts and uncles. I'm sure the baby will expect a lot of great presents from the whole family as s/he gets older.

{PP} So Wrong!

I'm a little afraid of what this says about how I will be once Z get here. Sometimes when I'm sitting still, which is almost never, and I can't feel Z moving and I want to, I make a sudden loud noise. I'll squeak or clap or just do something that would be otherwise totally and completely obnoxious to anyone sitting in the room with me. After this I sit as totally still as I can just to feel Z move around. I can totally see myself poking the baby while asleep just to get a reaction. I hope I can get this out of my system before the baby arrives!

Battling a Stomach Bug

It thought I was on the run. I was defenseless with my sword and shield knocked out of my hands. As I scrambled away the giant bug got closer and closer. My hand landed on a rock and some dirt. I play dirty. I blinded the thing and then beat it to death with a rock. Well, it didn't happen quite that way, but I did manage to fight with toilet paper wrappers a lot. I was very concerned a few days ago. I felt like my morning sickness from the first trimester. It happened after I ate the most wonderful baked potato with sour cream, cheese and yummy bacon. I wasn't 100% about the sour cream, I was about 98%, but I had been dreaming about one for the longest time, so I dove in. Big mistake. I'm fine now and after a few frantic calls to my mother and grandmother (both nurses) and my doctors office, everyone said as long as I wasn't dehydrated or vomiting my eyes bloodshot it would pass and I would be fine. So I holed up in the house with ginger ale, water, cheerios and lived on the couch. This is one of those times I wish I had a roommate or my husband wasn't 7000 miles away. Yeah, the latter would be preferable. As far as I can tell the baby is still in there. I haven't felt any more obviously ruckus from my belly, but there was a lot going on in there. I'm sure Z was scared of all that crap, I sure was. If Z could talk I'm sure, "No more of that please would be the request." Much obliged!

{PP} That was so cool!

This morning I was laying on my stomach on the computer and I definitely felt three big kicks/punches/headbutts/butt bumps from Z. I took that as my cue to stop laying on my stomach and possibly smooshing the little one. After feeling it, I have to agree with Cee, I totally knew that's what it was. I think the main reason I don't feel anything is that I'm almost never still, except when I'm sleeping. I'm constantly moving, rocking, tapping my foot or otherwise bouncing around. This kid is being conditioned a la the Deltas in Brave New World, conditioned for the constant spinning they endured in space. Perhaps Z will want to become an astronaut. All I have to say is I'm very excited to feel more movement in the future, at least until I'm being kicked in the bladder/lungs/ribs. Once we get to that point, I'm sure I'll try to encourage a bit less kickbox training in the little one.

Baby Shower

My family is dead set on one. Can't I just have people give me the presents without the party? I don't like being the center of attention. I didn't have a bridal shower, I did have a bachelorette party where I promptly fell asleep on a row of chairs at the restaurant/club while wearing my Miss America sash and sparkly veil. Large parties with my family tend to involve my great aunts making lesbian jokes at my expense, even more hilarious now that I'm married. My 30 "cousins" under the age of 10 will run amok until someone starts crying and I'll end up trying to leave early. I can't even drink to stop the insanity this time, but I guess that's family.

The newest plan on the agenda is moving out of my current place. My father and brother have volunteered to come down here and take all of my stuff back to their house. This will be my 9th move in 8 years. I am looking forward to graduation for so many reasons and another one I can add to my list is NOT moving for at least 8 YEARS. We love our current house and we're making all kinds of improvements, including walling in the back area of our living room/tv room/dining room. It will serve as a downstairs baby room during those first months in case I'm not stairs ready after Z is born. The other reason we love it is that neither one of us want to leave. As long as it doesn't catch on fire or start collapsing around us, we're staying.

Short Circuit 2

I still can't watch the scene where he gets beat up near the end without tearing up. I think my 80s nostalgia is kicking in with all of the remakes going on lately. I refuse to watch the new Karate Kid. Really? 9 year olds beating each other bloody? No thanks. The A-Team was actually a pleasant surprise. My friend and I wanted to see a movie and everything out either sucked or one of us had seen it already. So the A-Team was our only option. It was actually very good. The comedy was great, the action was fun if edited a bit too haphazardly, but really fun. And I really want to see more of Sharlto Copley from District 9. If you haven't seen District 9, please do. He improved all of his lines in the entire film and his accents are great in the A-Team.

So back to Short Circuit, not exactly what you would call a tear jerker, but it's just the king of random thing that makes me blubber. Most of my friends do not cry in movies, I can tear up or full blown cry at the drop of a hat. My Girl, Short Circuit 2, Lion King (I have to leave the room and my 7 yr old sister calls me in when the Musafa part is over), P.S. I Love You (terrible movie, but I still cry), A Walk to Remember, and the list goes on and on. I do find it every interesting that I cry almost never in real life, but watching a movie it's like Niagara Falls. Now it has even made the transition to commercials. For now, I'm just going to blame it on the pregnancy.

{PP} How do you know? and annoying advice

How do you know if it's gas or the baby moving? I still haven't been able to discern whether or not I'm thinking I'm feeling something, but I could just be imagining it or I have recently acquired an intolerance to lactose. Feeling the baby is just another way to make this all a bit more real. That and the constant shooting pain in my hips. Yay, changing body in ways from which it will never recover!

I ran into someone I've known for about 6 years yesterday and in the course of our conversation she called me out multiple times for the following: taking Flintstone vitamins approved by my doctor instead of prenatals, working out also approved by my doctor and flying later in my pregnancy. I understand people want to give their two cents and be helpful, but telling me that I should be taking a vitamin with prenatal on the front after I've said my doctor said the ones I'm taking are ok is annoying. She even went so far as scrounge up a baby book where it stated that I should be taking vitamins. Yes, I know, which is why I'm taking the ones my doctor said were fine.

Working out seems to be something she has a real problem with. I worked out at least 4 days a week before I was pregnant. I'm down to 2-3x/wk now, but it's a good hour of a little cardio and some strength training. My doctor has said it's fine and recommends it, but she could not get it through her head that I was not in some way irreparably damaging myself and the baby. It seems like this is only the first of many little tidbits of annoying "advice" I'll be receiving over the course of this pregnancy and the rest of my life. Oy!

{PP} Margaritas

I dream about margaritas. Every time I'm out with friends, people talk about going out or I'm just home on my own I want a margarita. The thought of pumping enough milk for a day once Z is born and being able to go out and have one makes me so happy. My doctor has told me that a glass of wine a couple of times a week with dinner will be fine at the end of my 2nd tri and into my third, but wine is not a margarita. I'm trying to stop my obsession. Someone suggested a virgin one, but then that's just drinking a mix and salt, not really my idea of delicious. But I will soldier on, until the baby is born and then have at least 2! Knowing how these things go though, I probably won't even want one by then. Go figure!

Financial Planning

My current obsession is a resurgence of a past obsession, which is financial planning. I love spread sheets, tables, graphs, projections and the like. Budgets about our current income, future income, savings projections and different way to save. I tried the envelope system for about a week, but that didn't work out so well. I hated taking out large sums of money and having it laying around the house or taking it around with me. And so much of my expenses are in the way of automatic payments and direct debits that it didn't really help keep what I was spending in perspective. Then I tried to use a spreadsheet and keep track of the money on my own. You can imagine how that went...a lot of lost transactions and no real tracking. So my new fun toy is mint.com, which has been working out pretty well so far. I thought I was a lot better at not spending on little things, like train tickets, a couple of things off Amazon, a Starbucks coffee every once in a while, but I'm not. That said, I don't really count my snoogle purchase as frivilous now that my hips are all wonky when I wake up in the morning.

Another site that I want to try out is SmartyPig.com, but I think I need to have an actual income before I can start saving for specific reasons. Right now, I'm just trying to be frugal enough to not have to take out more money than necessary in loans. The arrival of Z has made both Liam and I a bit more conscious about what we spend. We never really had a budget, money left our accounts for savings, mortgage, phones, and other expenses, but we didn't track how we spent. Now the importance of planning for the future is that more evident. It's also tricky when I'm the only one draining the family coffers and putting us into debt. Have I mentioned before that I hate debt, even "good debt" like student loans? I hate it with a vengeance. I hate that I'm not able to save any money right now and can't wait to be able to do so in 2 years and even better possibly next summer. I keep saying that once I'm making some money it will be a lot easier to save and we'll be able to do so much more, but I realize just how hard it is to live like you make less than you do. With two incomes coming in spending two incomes is much easier. I think living the way we do now is something we will have to work on once I'm not draining the bank.

Interviews

On campus interviews, early interview week, whatever you call it, it's all I can think about right now. My friend H at Michigan is trying to narrow down his cities and has decided on DC. DC is a great town and totally up his alley, BigLaw, politics, and lots of other friends here. I, on the other hand, am all over the place. In an ideal world, I'll be able to get an SA in the office I'm working in this summer. If they aren't able to pull together a program in time for me to do that or I royally screw up this summer, then I need to think of alternatives. The cities I'm looking into are: London, Philly, DE, and DC. I've pretty much taken New York out of the running. It's far from family and I'm not really familiar with the city, so I would prefer to either be closer to Liam or in places I know a bit about. There is a lot to take into account knowing that I will have a 6 month old and possibly living on my own. A little scary, but the thought of not needing to take out loans for 3L makes both Liam and I very happy.

Outside of actually choosing what firms to bid for, there is the fear of the actual interviews. Tens of interviews, possibly multiples per day, in the summer heat, while 6 months pregnant is a bit daunting. I have talked about my previous lack of interview skills. I haven't ever interviewed for a serious job. They have also all been in education. Even my interview for my current job was with a person that wrote their email using "R u," instead of "Are you." That certainly took the pressure off. On campus interviewing will be hardcore, tiring, walking up and down the hallways of a hotel, make sure I don't spill anything on me the whole time, craziness. And I need to find a suit! All of that said, I'm looking forward to this whole process. It's definitely ripping the band-aid off of actual professional interviews. What I'm not so sure about are call backs. Not to say that I'm going to get any, but when the hell do these things happen! Doesn't seem like there is much time.

Sidetracked, but bound to happen

I know that this blog is supposed to be about law school, but it seems it has been taken over by baby talk. On the law school front there isn't much to report. Grades still aren't in...that's the most important thing. I'm not sure when they are due to come out, but I check every so often. I'm not really all that excited to see them, but I don't think I really have a choice. See my pregnancy updates and info is so much more exciting than law school things, well at least during the summer.

{PP} So Much Stuff

Liam has finally gotten over his fear of buying things before the baby gets here. I, on the other hand, am completely and totally overwhelmed by how much stuff there is to buy. Baby seats, car seats, diapers, clothes, burp clothes, bottles, pacifiers, sterilizers, baby monitors, there are so many things to buy and too many options. The one saving grace is almost all of it is completely and totally adorable.

We have been watching Yo Gaba Gaba ever since our friend's kids watched it one day we were at their house. It's a way trippy show that seems to be more for adults than kids. If these kinds of shows stay around for a while maybe we won't be tortured by bad children's television. I was subjected to years of Barney as my siblings grew up and I still haven't recovered!

{PP} 2.5 hours of sleep

I thought I was over the time difference. Apparently, I'm not. I don't want to take a 6 hour nap this afternoon, but it's probably inevitable. I feel like that one episode of Spongebob where he just moved from place to place by sliding on his back. I have moved from the bed to the couch and have been in the reclined position for the past 14 hours. There isn't even the excuse of hard work going on. I read for class this week and really want that 2nd trimester boost of energy.

SYTYCD

My favorite summer pasttime has finally started. I still remember coming back from a late night as work during undergrad to my roach infested townhouse, turning on the TV and zoning out to So You Think You Can Dance. I lived with 4 guys, one that dipped and a girl, who never cleaned any of her dirty dishes that lived in the same kitchen with many of the roaches. SYTYCD was always to much fun. I started watching Season 2 and my favorite couple was Benji and Donyelle. I loved Donyelle, she was soo amazingly awesome! It's such a fun show and super enjoyable to watch people do things that I could never imagine doing, like pirouettes. Love those things!

I had another prenatal appointment today. It took all of 10 minutes. At least 6 of those minutes were spent weighing my over and over on different scales and with and without my shoes because I lost 6 pounds. They didn't seem too concerned and just said it keep an eye out for what I'm eating. Honestly, I thought I had gained at least 10 lbs, particularly from all of the restaurant food Liam and I ate. After a bit of searching the doctor was able to find Z with the doppler. If we hadn't had the sonogram last week I would have freaked out a bit, but I knew Z was a mover and a shaker. She stated that Z was on the move and that I should be able to feel that movement soon. I'm so excited for that, but I'm sure once I'm being kicked in the ribs, and other internal organs I won't be so happy. My mother, being her usual helpful self, noted that lots of movement before birth may mean lots of movement, agitation and general restlessness once the baby is born. She stated that the baby would probably be like me and want to be fed every 1.5 hours and I would get no sleep. Her little gems of information are really helping me with my pregnancy and child rearing fears. At least I'll have Liam and a squadron of SAHMs with all of their kids in school in our compound to help me out. They all have the baby bug, so I'm hoping that will lend itself to lots of help for me while Liam's at work after the first 3 weeks or so.

At the doctor's, I also broached the topic of flying at the end of my 35 weeks and she was totally fine with it. As long as everything stays uncomplicated and the airline is on board, she's fine with flying that late. Since the plan is to be with Liam for the birth, I know about the facilities and that's where we will be living, it makes sense for everything to happen there. I'm still super nervous about the whole childbirth and raising a child thing, but that comes and goes as the days go by.

Family time

I'm trying to figure out what to get my little sister for her high school graduation. All I wanted was money when I graduated. As a saver there couldn't be a better gift and my family is not that great at giving useful gifts. I got a lot of crap that's still sitting in my mom's garage. Does a new college student really need a foot warmer or something else rummaged from the back of the gift closet?

Oh crap, Izzie's graduating, ummmm how about these plastic hair bonnets for when it rains!

I have been the victim of bad regifting, which is why I would like to give her something useful. My sister is not a saver, she has never had a job and thinks that she should be given just about everything under the sun: trip to Paris, car, new laptop, new ipod, and money. Money would probably end up buying jeans instead of books and I would not be happy about that. It's really amazing how different siblings can be. Liam and I may spring for a netbook, since she will actually need/use/take care of that.

Great for Dads and Grads, such a wonderful time of year!