Only 3 Years

Crunch time

2012-01-28T23:31:00.002-05:00

Apparently everyone wants to come and spend time with me and Z now that the less than 3 week countdown has begun. The issue I have with that is that things are super crazy for the next 3 weeks as far as school goes. I only got about 500 words done today and I was shooting for 1500. My dad was here for 4 hours and Z only took a 45 min nap during the day. I swear they are all conspiring against me. The paper isn't really that difficult to write, bullying is a pretty hot topic, it's just getting all of my source info together is taking quite a bit of time. Not to mention the fact that I'm supposed to be serving as an alumni interviewer for my undergrad. Sorry ladies, you're going to have to wait until after Monday.

Boo is kicking up a storm, so much so that you can actually see it from the outside now. I almost forgot how reassuring it is, it also helps me when I'm about to go crazy insane because of my heartburn. While I am so happy we're adding another little one to our gang, I'm also glad that we're going to hold off for a couple more years before we add anymore. Nearly 2.5 solid years of pregnancy or breastfeeding is enough to make me a little crazy. And after we're all done, there will be redundancies put in place to make sure no surprises happen down the line.

And I really want a MARGARITA!!!!! I have been craving one pretty much since I took the pregnancy test. I only had one while I was between pregnancies and that was because I had to spend one night in the city by myself. I have no qualms with a glass of cider or wine with a meal once I'm out of the first trimester, but hard liquor is a line I won't cross and I really really really want to cross it. At this point I might ask them to wheel in the margarita maker into my room after delivery. The deliriousness is setting in...only 2800 more words to go...

Sleep Hazard

2012-01-27T04:27:00.001-05:00

Mine is falling asleep in my clothes when I lay down to put Z to sleep. I woke up at 3am and realized I was wearing the clothes I had on all day. While I would normally change out of the clothes and into my PJs when calling asleep fully clothed at this point, I'm thinking I'll just keep them on, take Z to school and change after the school run. How lazy is that!?

Classes are going well. My only weekly class, Transitional Justice, actually goes by fairly quickly because everyone just ends up talking and I can bring up the academic value of Hunger Games whenever possible. I really think it would be a great case simulation for how to transition from a dictatorship to a democracy and how the new government would need to create a retributive/reconciliatory path to rebuilding. I think it would be a great paper topic!

I have my last HUGE paper due Monday. It isn't finished, but it will be. After that I only have four 12-15 pagers left between me and the end of the semester and they are all nicely spaced out from mid-Feb - April. I'm looking forward to Tuesday. Other than the long drives to school for my weekend classes the travel there and back haven't been so bad. I can get all of my reading done for class on the train, chat with Liam on skype and chill knowing Z is having a super super fun time at school.

One of the things Z loves to eat most is corn on the cob. Everyone at her school loves to watch her eat it because for some reason no one else gives their 14 month olds corn on the cob. I don't even know how you would feed a kid that young corn not on the cob because they don't really have enough teeth to properly chew it! She loves corn on the cob and everyone at school smiles at how much of a little person she is as she turns it over to find some new pristine corn. She is getting more into the loving school flow and it generally takes me 15 to 20 min to get her out of there because she wants to show me everything she has done, have me read a book or color with her for a bit. She's going to go back to her old school once we're back with Liam. He visited the school, got the program schedule, found out about the curriculum and we both think she'll really like it there. Our one sticking point is that they don't have a designated nap time. They have story time/quiet time, but I don't think Z will go to sleep if there are other kids in the same room doing other things. They do naps according to whatever the parents say and whenever they say, but her current school has a more set schedule. Right now she's at a 2 hour nap at school, if she doesn't nap at all throughout the day she is cranky! We might be able to compromise and have her go into the infant room for a nap in their cribs or have them find a quiet space for her nap mat away from everyone else.

It's a little over 3 weeks until we're home!!!! We're trying to get a family portrait done with my side of the family before we leave. It's going to be a miracle if we get it done. With over 20 people for this thing and including all of my grandmom's grandchildren and all of the aunts and uncles, it's going to take a lot to get everyone in one place at one time for this pic. I hope we get it done before we go though, my grandmom will be really happy!

On Pregnancy: My days of not remembering I'm pregnant are over because the hips are starting to go. They just need to keep it together for the next 3 weeks to make travel easier, but it's starting to become a huge pain and rolling over normally is becoming a chore. Only 14 weeks to go until Boo arrives!

6 Train Hours = 2 Class Hours

2012-01-19T15:05:00.002-05:00

School

I really wish I could get credit for all of the time I'm on the train. Total travel time for my 2 hour class is 6 hours. At least it's on the nice train and there is wifi, otherwise it would be pretty dire. The benefit is that I can take Z to school and pick her up without any major changes to our schedule. She gets dropped off an hour early and picked up about 45 minutes later than non-school days for me. From how long it took her to sit down and start eating yogurt at the table with her other little school friend, I don't think she was all that concerned about being there a little bit early. As far as the late pick up, it'll be before 5 or at 5, so there will definitely be a lot of other kids there because their parents have real jobs.

Class was interesting...I think half of the people are going to drop it. The class is fine, but helmed by a first timer and the session was a bit all over the place. I think that a lot of people still have choices they can make as far as which classes to take, so they're going to try and find something different. It's an international law course and I've taken a bunch before and have some past experience, so I think it will be pretty easy to keep up with the discussions without doing all of the reading, which is voluminous! After this weekend I'll be almost halfway finished the semester and sooooo happy about it.

Moving

2 suitcases packed, 2 to go and not a pending Amazon order in sight. We're trying to contemplate just how much familiar stuff we can bring with us for Z. There is this plastic Fisher Price booster seat from, maybe when I was a baby, that I'm thinking about bringing. She loves that seat, sits on it to color and write on any paper she can get her hands on, she stands on it while doing balancing exercises apparently and will just plop down and move it around where ever she likes. I'm hoping we can find an approximation for home, if not I might just bring it. As it is, we're going to have a suitcase probably at least half filled with her favorite toys. All of her blankets (3) can come, so that will help. I know I'm the one making a big fuss about her adjusting and she'll be just fine, but I feel like the change is going to be fairly drastic and minimizing the shock is making me feel less guilty about leaving the whole family behind. I'll certainly never take for granted the benefit of having a large family living so close again. Knowing that Z can just go wander around the house and there will always be someone to keep an eye on her has really helped her with her independence and freedom of movement.

We've just had gates put up on our stairs at home and to the pantry. We're also thinking about putting carpeting down on the steps. We have concrete steps covered in tile. Talk about no give! Plus they aren't standard US/Western spacing, so they take a little getting used to. As for the pantry, that's where all of the cleaning supplies and booze is kept. No one wants a great cider flood. In addition to these little changes, we're realized just how non-toddler friendly our life was. We don't own any non-glass/ceramic plates/cups/bowls other than mixing bowls. So now I've headed to Target to pick up a few cute ones and a few for Z. We also have electronic wires running all over the place. Liam had the tv mounted to the wall a while ago. It's not going anywhere, drilled into the concrete, bracket in place, good to go. Now wireless speakers and other things like that are looking even better. We'll see if the budget allows for it.

Pregnancy

Still forget I'm pregnant at times, except for when I get a big kick/heartburn. I'm sure I'll become much more aware once all of the craziness had died down. I have to schedule a glucose test at some point, I've completely forgotten when my next appointment is and need to look that up. I'm definitely bigger this time around, but that's to be expected. When I get home I'll actually be able to start working out again, yay heated pool, gym in the compound, plus kettle bell training. Only 15 weeks until the peanut arrives!

Buying more baby stuff

2012-01-16T11:34:00.002-05:00

I've been checking the classifieds like a mad woman, literally at least 20 times a day looking for the best deal on a new double stroller, crib, etc for the house. We missed a great double stroller about a month ago and since then "NEVER AGAIN" has been my battle cry. Since so many people are always moving in and out it makes it a great time to find good deals. Liam is heading across town to look at a crib/mattress/linens for $130. A great deal if it's a nice crib, we shall see.

My paper is coming along swimmingly. I have hit my word minimum and still have a few more things to add in, so I've taken the time out for a quick blog post. This will give me about 2 hours to finish all of that up, leave it for lunch, read it and proof it again and then turn it in. BAM! I'll be talking to one of the professors of a potential class to explain my crazy situation and hope he's cool with me missing a little class. I sure hope so or else I'll be taking a short summer class and graduating in October/December, I don't even know how the school does it off track.

Z is at school and enjoying herself I'm sure. When I dropped her off they were listening to MLKs "I Have a Dream" speech. Man, I am really really going to miss this school. It really is amazing all of the things that they do with the kids. I mean it costs enough, so I guess they should be doing this much, but it still amazes me. I've kept all of her crazy detailed daily profiles, so that I can get ideas of what to do when we're home together. And also buy all of the books that they read in class. Book fair starts next week! I always freaking loved the book fairs at my school. It was like kid crack for me and I could never get as many books as I wanted. To this day, somewhere in my mom's garage I would say I probably have over 200 books from my middle school to teen years. E-readers have been such a saving grace for me, so now I don't have to try and decide between which of my 4 favorite re-reads I'm going to bring with me where ever I'm going. Blog break over, back to the paper!

Hell Week is Over

2012-01-15T11:18:00.003-05:00

My crammed week of 45 hours of class is over. It was not all that fun, but not too terrible. The classes have now gotten me 1/3 of the way through the semester and I'm so happy. I'll have three 12 page papers to complete over the next 2 months, one of which is a group project, so that's totally do-able. My classes were an interesting mix of law for one packed week (securities fraud, can law firms keep up their current pro bono models and the international petroleum industry). They were all interesting in their own way and I actually learned a bit. I'll look forward to learning more about the petro-chemical stuff in the working world, since I don't have much time for it while in school.

The countdown to the big move is almost in the 20s and my Amazon buying is hitting a frantic pace. So much to buy, so little space in the suitcases. Actually I've only filled one completely, so that's 3 more HUGE suitcases to go, plus 4 carry ons. I think that's why I'm getting a bit more willy nilly with my purchases. I would estimate that our clothes and the toys we have already will fill up one of those. Packing purchases as they arrive is definitely the way to go.

The other school development is that they have decided to cancel one of my classes. My class that only left for 6 sessions in Feb and all before I left. The class that was the complete and total reason we were able to fly out when we were. So now the scramble is on for another class to fill the slot where the prof won't mind me missing one or two classes after we've flown out. I met with a dean to discuss this matter and their advice was "can't you just change your flight and stay for an extra month"...not really possible. I mean sure, I guess it would be, if we changed our flights out, forfeiting the miles we used and paying about $1700 for a one way ticket for each of us, plus living expenses/childcare for another month away from home and of course adding on another month to not seeing Liam. Totally do-able if you just look at it that way.

5 More Sundays

2012-01-08T12:00:00.000-05:00

There are only 5 more Sundays between us and being home! It's going to be an intense 5 Sundays with 6 papers between now and then. The excitement and anticipation is making me a little loopy. Z, my grandmom and I are all heading into the city for a fun filled week of classes. It should be interesting because my grandmom is not much of an explorer and I know Z is going to want to make a break for it any chance she gets. The good news is that I'll be able to give her a break every 3 hours and hopefully complete the bedtime routine of bath and bottle before I head back into class every night. My three classes are all internationally focused, but I'm still vague on some of the details for most because I haven't gotten any reading materials yet.

Liam is back at work and pulling a long day. Since we left in August his work scheduled has changed and by changed I mean they are making him stay an extra 1.5 hours everyday. So instead of getting home at 3pm, with traffic he'll probably be getting home at 4:30 or 5. It really really blows considering he has to be at work at 6:30am. This may seriously throw a kink into our whole Liam getting home, heading off to the park for a big family walk, coming home, feeding Z, bathtime, Z's bedtime and then our dinner and tv time. I just hope that once we're home things will settle down and we'll be able to be together more than I'm imagining. I guess I should just be happy about being in the same house at all.

Tomorrow the grind begins again and I'm actually looking forward to it. No 3L burnout for me! I'm going to blaze through these 6 weeks, enjoy the time with my family and prepare for all of the things I'll miss about the US. YAY!!! The end is near!!!

Woohoo Doctor's Office

2012-01-04T14:46:00.003-05:00

I had an appointment this morning and spoke to the billing folks and it seems that the whole billing fiasco isn't going to land squarely on our lap. Yay for not having to pay $2000 for a screw up completely not of my own making! The billing woman said that the company was just going to write the whole thing off, which would be amazing. Fingers crossed. In the meantime I'm freaking out about all of the things I want to buy on Amazon. Preparing for the permanent move has made my Amazon cart a crazy huge list of little bits that are slowing reaching astronomical proportions. I'm going to have to make some serious choices, but I feel like a lot of it is essential. I have tons of things in there for after delivery (ie sitz bath, peri bottles, witch hazel, etc) and those while not expensive are adding up. Then I have the little things for Z, like musical type things (bells, tambourines, etc) for play groups I'll be hosting, and then random baking stuff like vanilla extract, which you can't get over there. I'm also trying to stock up on double baby stuff. I'm thinking of the SkipHop Duo Double diaper bag. Had anyone used that? It looks huge, but I think it would be a great carry on when flying with both kids later on and out and about. Back to writing, which I'm actually finding enjoyable. Go figure.

We Kicked Some Ear Infection Butt

2012-01-03T12:47:00.000-05:00

Z had an ear infection about 2 weeks ago. I felt terrible because I didn't even know it! She's one of those babies where you can never tell that she's sick. She might want more hugs and cuddles, but she'll still play, laugh and run around. If we hadn't had a doctor's visit scheduled anyway, I don't even know if I would have known until it was really bad. That seriously scares me for the future. So today we went back for our 2 week recheck and she's good to go. She was running up and down the exam table enjoying all of the loud paper. Liam got to meet our pediatrician, who was actually my pediatrician growing up. It costs quite a bit at times because we're going to her without insurance, but the comfort I feel is worth it.

My paper writing is still on the go. I have 2 more to do over the next three weeks. They are built on previous work, so I'm not too stressed. Classes begin again next week and I'm ready to go. That first week is a bit crazy because I'm doing all of these compressed courses in order to leave early, so we're going to be staying in the city and my grandmother will be watching Z for me. I'm a bit sad about Z missing almost a full week of school, which we will be paying for, but leaving her to 4 days just wouldn't be cool with me. There will be lots to do and I'll get to see them for a few hours everyday, so that won't be so bad. I'm also excited to start things up again because the quicker we begin the quicker we're home!

Z has made the transition to the toddlers room at school and is totally taking it in stride. She even waved bye bye to us when we dropped her off yesterday. I usually sneak out, but she was like, see you guys later I'm playing with the big kids. Her teacher in that room is really great and Z LOVES her. I'm going to be really sad to have her leave that school. It costs a pretty penny, but hearing about all that she does everyday and how much she's learning with them has definitely made it worth it. I'll be hard pressed to find a school that provides the same level of care once we're back home.

On the baby front, aside for our scare a week or so ago things have been great. I'm showing a bit more than I did with Z, which still means a big burrito lunch and have heartburn like a mofo. Other than those two things, I still forget that I'm pregnant from time to time. We can't wait to meet him/her, but there is certainly enough going on where we're too busy to get bogged down in the babycenter nitty gritty like we did before.

46 days until we're HOME!!!!

Requisite End of Year/New Year Post

2012-01-01T21:10:00.000-05:00

So a lot has happened in the last year and even more will be happening in the next year.

2011 included:

Celebrated our 2 year anniversary
Maked another baby, currently baking
Watched our current baby grow, learn to crawl, walk, run, climb and now talk
Entered my last year of law school
Spent the summer with a firm in Europe away from Z giving Liam some solid daddy-daughter time

Looking forward to 2012 and accomplishing:

Bringing a healthy new baby into this world
Finishing law school
Getting a job
Starting to pay off our debts (mortgage and my loans)
Creating a budget and sticking to it
Spending an awesome summer vacation in Liam's hometown
Enjoying living together as much as possible
Get in shape (2007 college grad shape)

We'll see how much of this actually happens...I think the odds are pretty good, so only time will tell.

Whew Finally Taking A Breather

2011-12-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

The Good:

Z is over her ear infection, running around and making herself dizzy by spinning in circles. She got so many toys for Christmas (glad Liam and I didn't buy her anything) that we've had to buy my suitcases a month early, so we have a place to put all of this stuff.
Liam is here!!!! We have had a great week together, an uneventful Christmas that didn't really feel like it was real because it was so warm and even got to go to the movies. We're working on another movie and date night soon.
I finished with 3 of my 5 papers! I have a week before my next draft is due and 2.5 weeks until the other final paper is due. Thankfully my paper due in 2.5 weeks is built off of a project I completed for a client, so I only have about 1000 more words to complete on that one.
This little bot of real co-parenting has brought me back from the brink and even happier than before when it comes to adding another one to the mix.
Less than 50 days until we are HOME!!!

The bad:

(We're both fine) A short trip to the hospital for me in a Boo related scare, made me realize just how scared I was the first time around with Z, especially toward the end when her movements were less and less consistent. So, a 3 hour trip to the maternity triage began holding back tears and ended with us watching Modern Family on Hulu+ on my iPhone and wanting to get out of there. No placental abruption, woohooo.
Paper writing is not conducive to actually relaxing this holiday. I'm definitely kicking myself for waiting until now to get it all done, but nothing can be done other than head town and write. My 1000/day quota has worked out so far with me ahead of schedule.
We have so much to bring back. Z and I will be traveling with 4 large suitcases, 2 wheely carryons, one backpack, and one stroller. We managed to use our miles to upgrade our flight home, which means the airline will be a lot nicer and accommodating toward us with all of our stuff. We knew it was going to be a loaded flight back for us because we filled Liam's two completely empty bags in the first 4 days here. The after Christmas sales we just too good to pass up. We have clothes for Z up until 2T, I just hope she doesn't outgrow everything before she's 1.5.
Classes start again in less than 2 weeks.

A quick update on where I disappears to for a while.

The Slow Crawl

2011-12-19T12:00:00.002-05:00

The slow crawl to finishing the semester. This semester won't actually be over for me until Jan 30th, about 4 weeks unto my 6 week spring semester. I have papers due pretty much every 2 weeks until then. I've started working on all of them, so I just need to sit down and bang out a few pages per day. It is doable, but won't be pretty with all of the family time we'll be having.

While the paper situation doesn't bode well for a stress-free holiday season, it will keep me from going freaking insane. I've bought most of my Christmas presents through Amazon about 5 min ago and look forward to wrapping them/throwing them in a bag. Both Liam and I have gotten about 2 gifts for one another and we've only bought Z one present. She's gotten about 10 already from aunts, uncles, godparents, etc, so I don't really think she'll mind at all. I'm mainly buying serious amounts of supplies for the BIG MOVE!!! It's hard to even express how much I'm looking forward to being an actual together family for as long as we can put up with one another. Once we move back we'll only be apart for a total of 13 days over the next year (barring any kind of work travel)!!! I can't wait, but knowing I won't be coming back to the US has made me into a crazy must buy supplies freak. Baking supplies: vanilla extract, dry active yeast, baked goodie packaging supplies; home stuff: baby clothes hangers, solar outdoor lights, baby toothbrushes and toothpaste, things like that that we can't get there, but you kind of need. Now I'm just trying to rack my brain to remember everything I can physically fit in the suitcase and must have to be able to keep the happy smiles coming once I'm there.

We're looking forward to daily walks in a huge grassy park with fake bird noises, strolling through Dean and Deluca and not buying a single thing and making our back living room area into an awesome tumbling play area for Z complete with wedge mats and anything else we can get our hands on. It's things like this that keep me going when I just want to get on a plane and go NOW!!! 9 more weeks until my time law school is completely over. Ohhh I thought this time would never ever come.

Could it get any worse?

2011-12-14T06:42:00.000-05:00

While I know that it could, this has just been a sucky 24 hours. My 1st exam is in the next few hours. I have had less than 4 hours of sleep, due to a fussy as hell baby! She wouldn't go to sleep (took over an hour) when usually it's 20 min tops. So of course I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 11pm. Realizing that I needed formula and didn't know if my mom had picked it up for me because she wasn't responding to my texts and phone calls, I put on my coat to leave. My grandmom then informed me that there was a full container on the table, sigh ok. Then I needed to wash all of her bottles, pack her lunch and snack for school the next day, pack her diaper bag with all of the needed things school requested, get my clothes out and pack MY bag for school.

I was up at 4:45 to get to the train by 5:20 and I seriously could have just fallen asleep in the car at the station and called it a day. Z was up at 3am for some reason, kicking, crying and flailing her arms. I couldn't get her back to sleep for some reason she was working against me. At this point my only goal for exams is not to fall asleep while it's going on...wish me luck!

Closed Notes Exam

2011-12-08T15:07:00.001-05:00

I will be having my first one ever in law school...and I'm afraid. The material isn't that difficult, but it is a lot of material and I'm a bit afraid I'm going to forget a boatload of it. I have a week to make it happen, so I really really really hope that's enough time to get it done and ingrain it in my brain even more and not screw it up. There are two exams going on that day and I'm not really all that worried about the second exam because it's open notes, I'm familiar with the subject (the Interwebs) and I've got a good 6 hours between exams. My 1st paper is 90% finished. I just need to proof it and clean it up in some places, which can wait until some downtime this weekend or after my exams. I'm so glad it's almost finished!

One the pregnancy front, I'm feeling a lot more movement from the little one and that's fun. That was something that I really really missed once Z was born. It was amazing how something I thought would be so freaky ended up being so much fun and exciting. Other than fighting with my doctor's office about insurance payments (I never see a lab report, they request non-routine test and send them to an out of network lab) and say that hey it's my responsibility. I would think if you're in-network you would know what my insurance does and doesn't cover, which labs to send my stuff to and not try to screw me out of thousands of dollars. This will be a great meeting tomorrow with the bill department. Oh joy, just what I want to be doing right now.

Christmas is just around the corner and I'm just not even in the mood, which is sad because I LOVE Christmas!!! I love this time of year so much, but the stress of everything is killing it all and means that I can't really enjoy the best parts of the holiday, i.e. shopping, baking, hot cocoa, watching Christmas movies. In 8 days that will be all over and I'll have time to leisurely write at a good thousand or so words a day, so hopefully the season won't be ruined by this pesky school thing!

I'm the grown up?

2011-12-05T22:52:00.001-05:00

It still amazes me that I'm the grown up. Even after getting married, having a baby and another one on the way, I forget that sometimes, until a smack in the face reminds me. I just got an awesomely huge bill from my OB that included some crazy non-standard genetic testing done from my initial bloodwork. I specifically told them I didn't want any genetic testing done because we didn't want false positives and wouldn't do anything about the results anyway. Flash to a couple of days ago when I open my explanation of benefits invoice and in addition to huge DENIEDs written all over it there is also a boat load of testing that isn't standard and I definitely didn't sign off on. The grown up realization hit me when I realized I have to sort this out. I'll have to make the calls, sit on hold, have all of my statements handy and fight to not get royally screwed over. Sometimes being a grown up sucks, I wish I could just have my lollipop, sit in a chair swinging my feet back and forth and let the adults sort this stuff out. Does this feeling go away? Will I always be shocked that I'm a grown up?

A Bit Derailed

2011-12-03T17:54:00.001-05:00

That's what a call from nursery, yesterday, saying that Z has diarrhea will do to my writing progress. They said she was a little clingy, but eating well. I still hurried over there and found a totally smiling happy toddler who was very happy to see me. She hasn't had it again and sometimes I think they might just say it to have me pick her up early! It could be some new food, but really she hasn't had anything new.

Instead of writing I've been researching because at least that doesn't require my 100% attention and scanning allows me to play dollies and find articles and books to cite. I still have almost 2 weeks, so I'm not too worried, Monday should be enough to get it done. Did I tell you how excited I am for this semester to be over?

On the pregnancy front, heartburn check, but something that hasn't happened yet is my turtle syndrome and I'm so happy. Last time around I was unable to roll over from my side onto my back and over to the other side. If I wanted to switch while laying down I had to roll onto my belly, onto all fours and then back on the other side. It wasn't fun at all, but so far I have been fine and my hips aren't seriously hurting...yet. I'm coming up on 18 weeks and seriously can't believe I'm almost halfway there.

My hormones were satiated this afternoon at an outlet mall by some water ice, a cookie, a slice of pizza and sharing a half of a small fry that Z didn't finish. Man being pregnant has certainly given me some leeway in what the hell I'm eating. I'm not usually that bad, but it was all calling to me and usually I am pretty good...coooookkiiiies. Z and I went with my mother and grandmother who had tons of fun shopping. I absolutely hate shopping, I'm a walk in, pick up a few things and walk out. Trying things on is not an option. This is why I do actually like shopping for Z. I pick up cute things, always on sale, buy them and we're out. The mission was accomplished and we made it out unscathed and way under the Liam provided budget. I think the budget is more to get me to shop at all than not overspend, if he didn't say spend X I wouldn't spend anything at all because I don't like to if I don't have to. A few more weeks until he's here and we can't wait!!!!!!

Actually Making Progress

2011-12-02T12:55:00.001-05:00

I've gotten an extension on another one of my papers (2 were granted automatically to the whole class by the profs), so now I have 1 paper, 1 projects and 2 exams to get done in 2 weeks. I'm halfway finished with my paper, will be about 1000 words closer by the end of the day. This means I'll have about 2000 more words to complete over the weekend and I know I can do it.

Now that I have more time for my papers and they are all due about 2 weeks apart from each other I'm feeling so much better. I'm at least halfway finished with my project and my exams, well I'll have a good amount of time to really get studying on those without distractions. Talking to Liam has made me a bit of a crab, but I think he knows that how I am as I start to feel stressed. If I hear him say how tired he is one more time I might just scream. I know that of course everyone gets tired, but when I'm doing research while we're having our daily video chat, after being woken up 2 or 3 times during the night by Z, getting up at 7am, getting her dressed and off to school and I'm trying to scarf down some breakfast before I start writing, all while gestating a baby! that's not what I want to hear.

Heartburn is back with a vengeance! I seems like it's hitting earlier this time than it did last time, but I might just not have been paying attention to when it came up before. It's not at bad as it was at the end of the pregnancy with Z, where I was literally sleeping sitting up propped up by pillows, but it's not so great. It's kind of all of the time, which is a bummer, but I guess I'll need to buy Tums in bulk.

Z is still such a little cutie and I do love it so much when she comes home after school. The whole family (most of my brothers and sisters, grandparents, perhaps my uncle's family, plus one or two other cousins) is usually here eating dinner/just finished eating dinner and she just gets to play with everyone. She'll usually eat some dinner, some of grandmom's great cooking, and then bedtime. It really is a nice routine and I'll definitely miss it when we leave. It will just be me and Liam...not the busy busy house she's used to here. I really think having everyone around has made her a really independent, physical kid. She wants to run around like the big kids, she's free to explore and no one person really has to keep a sharp eye out for her because there are 10 other people in the house. She can crawl upstairs, leaving me downstairs because she knows grandpop is upstairs, head on over to the kitchen because grandmom is there and down into the rec room because all of the kids are down there. I know I'll miss having everyone around and I'm sure she will too, I guess that just means we're going to have to look into some playgroups in addition to school once we move.

Break over, back to the writing...

The Crush is Upon Me

2011-11-26T15:37:00.001-05:00

This is when things start to get crazy. I don't want to have to get an extension on one of my papers, but I'm afraid I might have to. There is so much that I haven't been able to get done, even spending most of the time Z is in school. Oy, I'm not freaking out yet, but I'm probably going to get there.

That said, Thanksgiving was so much fun! We had it at my uncle's and his wife's parents were cooking about half the meal and my grandmother the other half. I threw in a couple of pies and everyone was pretty much wishing for death after stuffing themselves. It was amazingly delicious, everyone had a great time. It was filled with good family stories, lots of Kinect Dance Central 2, tons of food and kids playing outside. A major freakout was avoided on my part while I was downstairs taking my Kinect turn and Z was upstairs with about half the adults and all of the other kids. The kids outside opened the screen door that Z was leaning against and she got a face plant into a pile of leaves and mud. It wasn't serious enough for anyone to call me, so I heard about it about 10 minutes later after the grandmothers had cleaned her off. She didn't have any cuts or scrapes and when I saw her again, she was sliding across the hardwood floods and chasing her non-walking older cousin. She didn't seem at all upset, so I just rolled with it. This kid has a noggin made of steel. She bumps her head about 5 time everyday and just keeps on going. I take my cues from her and if she doesn't cry, I don't make a fuss! So far, so good.

So back to school, the end is near and the ominous tone is starting to play in the back of my head. At least Z's incisors have broken through on both sides, so I think she's over the worst of her 3 hours of sleep per night. Next week, she's in school 4 days per week, there isn't a crazy amazing holiday involving more food that any human should consume at once and I can really get down to business...or sleep. I'll try to balance both urges. 2 exams, 1 project and 2 papers (possibly 1) to go.

Talk about productive

2011-11-17T14:00:00.001-05:00

I have a phone call with my externship "boss" and have completed almost 30 hours of work on my project in the past week. I'm only required to do another 25, but I think I'll end up spending a bit more. It's a really open ended 50 state survey assignment, so it's just jumping from state to state trying to gather all of the info, nothing too terrible. I'll be glad when it's over because then I can really hunker down for my papers. 40 pages in 20 days (not including weekends). That's totally doable, if I keep up all of this work.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I'm so excited. This will be my first non-improvised Thanksgiving in about 5 years. All of the ingredients I need will be here, I can just go out to buy something last minute and not have to remember to try and bring it with me months before so I can have it on the day. We're having it at my uncle's after I promised his wife there would be help with the clean up. They have the best set up, most room, and her mom is a caterer! I'm going to bake two pies, probably pumpkin and apple. I think I'll go to their house early and bake it there, we'll see. I was kind of hoping to make my own pie crust like I usually do, but given the decreased amount of counter space/oven space I'll probably just end up buying pre-made dough and baking ahead of time...or buying the pies! Have I said how excited I am!!! It's going to be so delicious, everyone will be there, we'll have a great time eating until we're stuffed, laughing, maybe playing a little Dance Central and then my mom and I will be gearing up to go shopping. I don't plan on going crazy, but I do like the fun of Black Friday shopping. I'll pickck up a couple of things I've seen and then back home to pass out/eat more leftovers. Oh the leftovers, talk about the best part. Can't wait.

Any Double Stroller Suggestions?!

2011-11-14T16:13:00.001-05:00

Since we're going to have 2 under 2 we're going to need a double stroller. I've been trying to do some research and some of these things are just ridiculous! We are not going to pay $450 for a stroller. Something that works for an infant as well as a toddler would be ideal. I keep scoping out the ones I see in the mall that look really cool, but I think they are probably the $450+ models. It needs to be something that we can actually travel with since we'll be flying every so often. Any suggestions? Or should I just go with an umbrella stroller and the Graco we have now and never take the two of them out on my own.

A Better Day

2011-11-14T14:21:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all of the pep talks after my last post. I'm doing a lot better now. The countdown to Liam coming back has begun, Z is going to be in school for 4 days, I have a good schedule for getting my papers done, they have started playing Christmas music already (would normally annoy me, but I needed a pick me up) and the Hunger Games trailer just came out.

If you haven't read the Hunger Games series, do it! I know it's supposed to be a young adult book, but I found the subject matter pretty grown up and have gotten about half of my family to read it. I can't wait for the movie! And they better not screw it up.

I didn't realize how much I'm looking forward to next semester until I started to realize just how uninterested I am in some of my classes this semester. I am not going to be a regulator, it doesn't float my boat and requiring what seems like 5 credit hours of work for a 2 credit class isn't cool. International mergers, negotiations, things like that are fun to me! Next semester is all of that stuff. Yay!

I'm taking off one day in Nov, so I only have 1 more day of class to go. Things are starting to get a bit hairy and people are starting to freak out, but I'm just trying to be very calm about it and not freak myself out. It helps that I'm not around all of these people all of the time. The study timeline is 4 days/wk of 8 hours of intense studying/writing/researching. I'll also try to squeeze in some studying on the days Z is home with me, but I usually try to reserve nap time for nap time for me, doing/folding laundry, washing/making bottles, cleaning up our room and the rec room or just taking a little time to veg on the couch.

She's 11.5 months today and turning into such a little person. She's running, great at saying "bye bye" and "thank you". She's getting better at family names and does now seem to say "mama" to me specifically and usually when she wants something. I'm trying to keep her from associating fake crying with I get what I want, so I try to let her figure things out so that she'll do it herself. Her new favorite fake cry moment is when she puts something into her crib like a marker/plastic hanger and tries to pull it our horizontally and not vertically. She figures it out pretty quickly, but still likes to give a little "you gonna help me" cry. It's amazing how quickly I was able to discern the "I just fell and hit my mouth and might be seriously injured" cry from the "I fell off of one step onto my butt and I'm a little scared" cry. I love that Z is an independent kid, she'll just sit and play on her own even with a house filled with people and then all the sudden just run into the room and start playing peek-a-boo.

Her level of comfort with people really makes me happy. She isn't afraid to just walk up to a person, check them out, maybe ask for a pick up and then get down and run off to do something else. I like that she isn't afraid of people and under my watchful eye I have no problems letting her wander around, interact with people and do her own thing. I think kids are actually really good at trusting their own instincts until we practically beat it out of them with stranger danger and things like that. If she can learn now to start following her instincts when it comes to people, I'll feel a lot better in the long run. So far her favorite strangers of choice are: women with kids, pretty ladies in general, men with kids and other little kids. It's really funny to see her interact with other people and their reactions to her. While I'm usually only about 5 feet away I think a lot of people are a bit surprised I let her interact with them, especially the men. It kind of makes me feel bad because men, especially dad's have to feel so afraid when they go out with their kids that other people may be wary of them just because they are men, but that's a talk for anther day. Wow, this post is a lot longer than I intended, but I guess that's what happens when you're sitting in a class that doesn't even make sense!

A Bad Day

2011-11-12T21:16:00.001-05:00

I've been away for a big because Liam was here! He was here and now he's gone. It's really difficult for me to not cry while writing this. I think part of it is hormones, but the majority of it is that he's gone. Having him here was so great. I didn't realize just how tired I was until I had someone else that I could fully share parenting responsibilities with for a bit. Now that Z is running around like a mad woman the reprieve of having him here has just made it harder for him to be away. I really don't know how military families do it and we certainly reflected on that on Veteran's Day.

Things I know about the last 7 days. 1) I probably didn't make the percentages I needed for the MPRE 2) Z can do about 2 hours in the car before she starts to get pissed off 3) Z is not adjusting to the time change well and has been voicing her opinion very loudly during the night 4) I'm so behind in school work 5) I need to start napping more while Z is away because I'm dragging pretty much 24/7.

I've put Z into daycare for 4 days a week until Christmas. I'm hoping this extra day will help me get more done, nap more and hopefully just give me more of a break. Being pregnant again while in school certainly isn't bringing out the overachiever in me! I'm praying we have a good night and she'll sleep, take a bottle and go right back to sleep and not have a fussy crazy night like the night's before.

The semester is winding down and I'm so ready for the beginning of the end. I'm very excited for classes next semester. I was able to merge my schedule requirements with ones that would actually interest me. This semester was so much more of a crapshoot. Now that the end is nearer we're really starting to think about our future, things we'll be able to do together and what our life may look like once we're all back together. We get 3 months together as a family of 3 before we'll add another little one. It's still so crazy to think back to where things were only 4 years ago. Liam and I hadn't even met. The first time we met was 3 days from now at a party thrown by a friend. While it was our first meeting it wasn't the first time we probably walked by one another and didn't even notice. We later found out, after we'd been dating a while that we were at another party about a month earlier (appearing in the backgrounds of each others photos), but didn't even see each other. Trip down memory lane sponsored by raging hormones and separation anxiety.

Tomorrow begins crunch time until Christmas. I'll make the best of it, stick my nose to the grindstone and make it work. I sure do wish I could have a nice margarita though!

Halloween!

2011-10-31T21:19:00.003-04:00

So we had a successful evening. I...I mean Z got tons of great candy. We strolled around the neighborhood for about an hour, saw tons of kids in fun costumes and endured a slightly chilly evening. Z's hands were freezing cold when we got into the house (gloves on the list of winter must buys), but she didn't seem to mind and kept running around the house with her candy filled pumpkin.

(Costume pic as promised...limited time only)

She was super quick to sleep tonight and I'll be following suit. My day was actually very productive, trip to Target to get a fancy top for our date night on Saturday, found my license plates at the post office (just a day before they were meant to be returned to the dealer), and listened to most of my MPRE lecture and did some practice questions. Sweet day!

Gone a little batty!

2011-10-27T11:06:00.003-04:00

I've decided to make Z's Halloween costume. I'm semi-scrapping my original idea for a costume and moving toward something a bit easier to recognize. So far, after about 3 hours of work, 1 of which was figuring out how to work the sewing machine I'm about 40% finished. It actually isn't as bad as I thought it would be and I'm going to post pics once it's complete. I don't want to give it away just yet, but it's super cute in my opinion. I did the bulk of the work after Z had gone to sleep, while watching my Wednesday night shows and it was really kind of fun. My mom made my two most memorable Halloween costumes for me, one year I was a jack in the box and another a giant sandwich complete with giant frilly tooth pick. While she won't remember this, it's actually getting me to make something, start trying to figure out sewing and have a little fun.

I'm also making progress on my classes. Still up to date with all reading in all but one class, started researching my papers and I'll start writing tomorrow. I think I can finish the entire costume tonight after bedtime and I'll be super excited if I can. My favorite part of the "fitting" was when Z woke up, so I picked her up before giving her her bottle and just put the costume down and wrapped it around her while she drank away to make sure it wasn't too big. It wasn't, so YAY and I'm feeling really proud of my haven't sewed since 8th grade skills.

I have my paper topics chosen for all of my classes now. Two are due in Jan and two are due in Dec. I would like to finish all by Christmas, but it is a big weight off of my shoulders to know that I have some time and trust me, I won't be waiting until the last minute! Tomorrow, I have my brother and sister's "character parade" to go to because apparently "Halloween" is a naughty word. After that, I'm picking up my cousin and one of my other sisters 20 mins early from school to go see In Time with JT. Woot Woot. Z will be in school, so I'm taking this chance to go to the movies and actually watch the entire movie before I head over to pick Z up from school.

Oh I also have the MPRE next week! Yikes. I'm not looking forward to it, especially since Liam is arriving the day before. I'll get in some studying tomorrow, Monday and Wednesday. An intensive 20 hours should be more than enough, I hope. Oh and HALLOWEEN!!!! I'm so freaking excited.

The New 3L

2011-10-21T13:39:00.003-04:00

This week has been amazing. Since I started classes I was working and now there is no work! I've had so much more time to play with Z when she isn't in school. We've gone for walks, gone to the store, played in the house and taken naps. It has been so nice.

On the days she is in school I've been getting work done. Not as much as I hoped because there is so much to do around the house. I finally made the entrance into our room and non-fire hazard. Gave us a bit more room to breathe, folded all of our clothes and actually put them away in drawers, and made it to the fabric store to get a few yards for Z's costume. I haven't been getting as much done as I wanted, but that's also because I've been in the house. I need to leave the house, I will leave the house next week and go to the local library. This way I won't be tempted to goof off/eat/watch tv. Liam is so close to getting here and we're looking forward to having this visit here because that means we're 1/3 of the way through this year! Sooooo close.

Sleep Deprived

2011-10-17T11:43:00.001-04:00

Being pregnant, having a 10 month old and passing the halfway point in a semester where I need to write 90 pages isn't really going that well. I am so tired, I can't tell which part of it is pregnancy and what part of it is the fact that Z refuses to sleep through the night. I build the stupid crib and she'll sleep in it for her first sleep of the night from about 7:30-11:30 and then she's miss fussy. If I just try to go over and rub her back and give her a bottle, she is fine until I lay down. Once I do she pipes up again. It's difficult since we're in the same room, maybe I should think about sleeping on one of the sofas in the rec room. The other issue with letting her cry it out is that there are other people in the house. She can't go sleeping bloody murder and keep everyone upstairs awake.

Now that work is over, at least I can sleep while she is at school. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to Wednesday morning after drop off. I also bought one of those Jillian Michaels workout dvds. I've been so remiss in not working out since Z was born. When I was pregnant with Z, I was working out 4 or 5 days a week and that kept me to a 15 lb weight gain throughout my whole pregnancy. I miss working on the machines and really feeling physically challenged. Post baby, I have gained about 25 lbs. No excuse. I will begin working out again. Not crazy intense, but I definitely need to work on ab strength because I can already feel my back spazing out. I'm determined to not gain much again, trust me, the baby has plenty to live off of if I don't pack on the pounds. I will get back on the couch potato to 5k program and hopefully be able to get some energy back and have a sound nap after the morning workouts. I really wish one of these were taking place near me because this would definitely be motivation to get me moving! Now this is my kind of run, one where you actually fear for your life!!

Once we're back home in Feb, Liam has arranged for us to take private kettle bell lessons. She works specifically with pregnant women, so I'm really looking forward to the challenge. I'm so excited to have this time to myself to finally get work done, exercise and SLEEP!!!!

Z's loving school, as usual, and the activities they are doing with them really makes me happy she's there. It costs an arm and a leg, so I guess it better be good, but they are doing tons of painting, reading, imaginative play and getting her to eat a lot more than she does with me. She also gets the play with the big kids for an hour or so each day because she's the only one walking in her current class. She likes to help the teachers by bringing toys to the little babies and also chase around the kids that are still crawling. They are also finally getting her to wear her shoes!

(Not these, but aren't they adorable? I can't wait until we take these outside with a snow suit!!)

Paper topics are coming fast and furiously now. I have three of them, I just need to meet with my profs to discuss how I will go about the research and writing of the papers. I'm finally starting to get into the semester...halfway in. My two exams will take place in mid-Dec and I don't think they will be too much to worry about. Paper topics, begin researching an outlining this week and start writing next week!

One more day of work!

2011-10-13T15:43:00.000-04:00

Wooohoooo, I'm so happy to have one more day left. Z goes to school, I can get in my hours, take a nap and get ready for all that next week has in store for me. I'm kicking into high gear. While most of my papers have been pushed to Jan, I really want to finish in Dec. I only have 2 exams, but 4 papers and one practicum assignment. I haven't really started on any of this, but starting Oct. 18th, it's on!

Classes are going...

One class is moving at a snails pace, we're still on week one's readings. The rest of my classes are fine, nothing special, nothing particularly interesting for my career plan, but all definitely getting me toward that graduation goal. 18 weeks until I'm finished with classes, 30 weeks of pregnancy and something like 41 weeks until the bar exam. As it gets closer and closer to finishing I'm looking back and starting to think, "How the hell did we do this?"

Liam gets here in a little over 3 weeks and it's so close I don't even want to think about it...oh and the MPRE! Haha, still have that coming up. The first weekend he's here things are going to be a bit crazy. MPRE, Z's 1st Mock Birthday party (since Liam won't be here for the actual birthday), dinner and a concert with Liam and then a trip to Sesame Place with my family (maybe). We also have to squeeze in a trip to the city and then up to Connecticut to see Liam's side of the family. It's going to be a lot, a lot, a lot, which is why I want so much completed before he arrives.

Z has now started to try and run (sometimes successful and other times not), she's also carrying things while walking, like cans of soda...talk about a splash zone. We haven't had any mishaps yet, but I'm looking for it.

Officially Quitting

2011-10-10T00:19:00.003-04:00

So I'm officially quitting my job this week. I liked the people, but it is just too much work. As I'm getting further into the semester and realizing that just reading for classes isn't going to cut it, something had to give and since Z is pretty much a must keep, along with sleep and eating, this one had to go. I feel so much more at ease now. I can finally start thinking about what presentation to do for my negotiations class. It can be on anything in life, no requirement that is be educational, or on any topic in particular, just no boring. It seems that for the class this is a lot more challenging than the professor thought it would be.

On the kid front, it's like Z is trying to skin herself pretty much everyday. She is a constant scratcher. If you take the clothes off of her, it's usually about .05 secs before she's trying to scratch the sking off of her back. Take off the diaper and her butt gets it. I've tried tons of lotions, no lotions, and cutting her nails as low as I feel comfortable, pretty much anything I can think of, but she's still scratching away and looking like she was in a fight with a cat. Any ideas? I don't want her school thinking I'm staging underground baby vs. kitten cage matches.

Already getting ready for Halloween

2011-10-08T19:39:00.002-04:00

So this will be my first Halloween as a mom! I'm super excited that I get to be excited, go trick or treating and eat lots of candy and it's totally sanctioned. I don't have to pretend I'm just chaperoning my siblings and am surprised when offered a piece of candy. I'm going to have Z out there working it and of course I have to eat all of her candy because she's too little to eat it. I'm a bit confused about costumes. Z is walking, but all of the costumes in her size at the stores are made for non-walking babies. I might just have to buy a few pieces and make her own costume. I'm thinking Boo from Monsters, Inc.

I absolutely love this time of year in the US. It is seriously my favorite. I love it when it starts getting colder, everyone decorating their homes and the food. Ohhhhh the food. The countdown to Liam getting here is getting closer and closer! I'm excited to see him and he'll get to come to my next OB visit. I can't wait for him to come because we're actually going to have a proper date night. We're going to go out to a nice fancy restaurant. I'll get my hair done, dress up, wear make up (gasp!) and we'll head into the city for our meal and a concert. Amos Lee is a great singer and we listened to some of his music our first real date. Liam thought I said Aimlessly, not Amos Lee. We still have those types of communication errors to this day.

Going out on that date is going to be really nice, while there won't be any drinking (Boo), I'll have a nice Shirley Temple and enjoy the time away from Z with my hubby. Things are just so hectic now and I think I'm just piling things on for the sake of piling them on. My part time job is going to go bye bye in the next week or so. I pretty much make enough to put Z in daycare, but can't get anything else done in the meantime. I'll keep her in school because she seriously freaking loves it. It will give me a chance to get my school work done, take much needed naps and help my grandmother around the house more often. I took out a little extra in loans above tuition, which I don't usually do to help with the car and other basic needs. That extra money coupled with my "allowance" from Liam will mean that we'll be fine over here. I mean I'll have to stop putting caviar on my cereal in the morning, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. The light at the end of this ridiculous law school tunnel is getting closer and closer and I can taste it at this point. And at the end of that is another tunnel and at the end of that one there is a baby!

Ta Da!

2011-10-07T09:35:00.000-04:00

So in addition to all of the previously mentioned craziness I've also got another little delightful bit making things hectic. This is Boo. I think BFF is has also named her peanut Boo, so I might have to change that for confusions sake. That little bubble at the top is the yolk sac which is getting smaller. Under next to that is the head and those 4 little dots are arms and legs. I'm due in May with Baby No. 2. I'll miss graduation, but I'm not all that sad about that. And I'm certainly glad I had to foresight to finish the semester early. This will give me time to study for the bar from Feb-May intensively while Z is in school and then just keep up and refresh my memory after the baby is born. So that's my big news!

Craziness

2011-10-05T23:02:00.000-04:00

Things have been absolutely crazy for the past couple of weeks. Between finally getting my car, trying to sort out health insurance for Z, going to classes, actually reading for class and squeezing in 20 hours of work I have only really had about 1hr of time to myself and that is generally at about 10pm. Now that I have the car it will make things a whole lot easier, so things should quiet down a little.

Z is absolutely loving school. She's walking all over the place (at 10 months) which no one ever believes. They said she was just doing laps around the room today. She has an little buddy, Mia, who is too small to even roll over, but laughs hysterically whenever Z looks in her direction. It really is hilarious to see this little girl so completely and totally giddy to see/play with Z. When I leave her she's off running and playing without even a backward glance. I'm so glad she loves it and is having fun.

As for school, I only have a few more days of classes left this semester, but still a boat load of work to do. Beginning this weekend I can finally start writing and make some real progress. I still can't believe there are only 5 more months left until this crazy journey is over. The countdown to Liam getting here is going strong. It's less than a month until he's here and I really can't wait. I'm sad he'll miss Z's first Halloween, but I plan on making up for it by buying a bunch of clearance Halloween costumes and we can all go for a family photo session.

When you know you're a 3L

2011-09-24T23:05:00.000-04:00

Realizing that I've been saving posts instead of publishing them! D'oh new blogger format. Here is one from the saver period.

How can I tell I'm a 3L? I can answer a question in class without being called on and then when the professor says, "Nooo, not really." I don't immediately slink down into my seat and not answer again. I actually answered two of those questions today. Personally I think the prof was kind of wrong on both, but oh well. The day is flying by fairly quickly and I'm thankful for that. I only have about 4 more hours of class, then 3 hours of travel and I don't have to do it again for another 6 days!!! I'm so pumped about that. So excited in fact. Now that the light is at the end of the tunnel and my crazy, crazy, 3 day journey.

As I'm on campus more and more I'm finding out that there are fewer and fewer people that I recognize. I'm also realizing how many people didn't even know I had a baby, even though I left at 36 weeks! I guess that my belly was a whole lot smaller than I thought or people just thought I was getting fat. I'm glad that I only have 4 months of class and 5 months of being in the US before graduation. The thought that the end of law school is so close almost makes me want to jump up and down in class. Almost...

I'm also happy that my mommy guilt can finally come to an end. A text stating that Z was crying after being dropped off at my godmother's mom was enough to make me want to turn around. This was especially hard after how much fun everyone said she was having yesterday. The pictures are priceless and make me feel not so bad about being away. Now I know, we'll get to spend the next 6 days together.

Fall Cold

2011-09-10T13:35:00.000-04:00

I am sick. I'm sick and will have driven over 300 miles and 5 hours today and 900 miles in the next three. Z is at home with my entire family, who are keeping her occupied, but they keep saying that she's asking for me and looking around for me. I feel so bad, especially because we had to leave Liam just a few weeks ago and I don't want her to feel like I'm abandoning her! Talk about freaking guilt. And did I mention that I'm sick with a cold. I have totally forgone even using tissues and have been slowly making my way through an entire roll of toilet paper during class. I'm looking forward to Tuesday when I can just lay in the bed and play with Ziggy and enjoy the day. I'll worry about classwork on Wednesday. Tired doesn't begin to explain it. I can't wait until these weekends are over and I can look back and say that there weren't that bad, I'm glad I did them and I am 2 credits closer to graduating.

Priorities for the next three days (1) don't get sicker (2) actually see Z while she is awake (3) try to get some sleep (4) try to get some school work done. Hopefully I'll catch you all on the flip side of this cold, which I hope will be less than a day. Fat chance, but a girl can hope!

Still Haven't Started School Yet

2011-09-07T09:46:00.002-04:00

I still haven't begun my classes yet and it feels weird. I've done all my reading...for the first two classes for each class. This means I'm ahead by two weeks. I was going to try and write my papers ahead of time, but I would much rather have a couple of classes first and then get a good topic. I'm pretty much hanging out around the house, helping my grandmother clean things, throw away random newspapers, and heading out to the stores to buy supplies for the house. My grandparents are refusing any kind of rent, so I've been paying our way by buying groceries, house things, and I think I'm just going to start giving her WalMart or Target gift cards at the beginning of the month as a get around on the rent thing.

We could have gotten an apartment for the 6 months we were here and used all of the furniture I had in my apartment from 1L, but being in this house is seriously helpful. There is almost always someone around for better or for worse, but generally it's for the better. Z has tons of people to play with, they'll even take her to the store or church so I can get some reading done. She loves the constant attention and I get a little break to do laundry, make some food, clean her bottles, etc. I'm also happy for the younger kids to get some hands on baby time. They are good at feeding her baby food, getting her to take a bottle, getting her to nap and even changing a diaper. I usually have to draw straws for who gets to participate in bath time because the bathroom is way too small for 4 kids, plus me and Z. It's nice to have helpers and I guess this is a little glimpse of what it would be like to have other older kids when a new baby is in the mix.

So all in all the living situation is good for now. A few things need to be fixed up and when my grandmom goes away on vacation in a week, I'm going to be doing some serious purging. I don't think she needs the Better Homes and Gardens magazine from 1999 in the bathroom. They will all just disappear. I can't wait!

I'm also trying to decide if I'll be putting Z into daycare here. All of the kids have gone back to school today, so there isn't the same bustle in the house as there usually is. I want her to go because she loved her other school and I'm sure I'm going to need a break once classes actually start. I'm getting in at 12am Monday nights and playing all day on Tuesday would probably make me cry. The things giving me pause are the cost, about the same as at home, but there is was pretty much 1 to 1 attention and a great facility. I think for something comparable it would be a whole lot more expensive here. Hmm, so my part time job may end up just paying for daycare and a little bit of food...choices must be made.

Of course I was in the bathroom

2011-09-03T21:26:00.003-04:00

when Ziggy had her first steps. At 9 months and 1 day, the first non-supported steps were made by the little one. My entire family was upstairs and playing with while I went to get the formula from the shopping bag and go to the bathroom. Through the door I hear everyone freaking screaming that she just took her first steps. Needless to say, there was screaming on my end as well, mainly "No she's not taking her first steps while I'm in the bathroom."

At least this way Liam and I both missed the first steps in person. I, then used my cell to video her next set of steps to my sister. Apparently, my sister is the only person that elicits enough excitement to get her to move those little legs. I also have to make people listen to the video with the sound off because my squealing is out of control!

I still can't believe that it's already happening, but I'm looking forward to real sustained walking because it will be so much easier to keep her from getting cranky when traveling. I know that this also means I'll have a baby that wants to take off and make a break for it. I guess I need to start buying shoes.

Our final seperation

2011-08-27T04:17:00.004-04:00

Next week Z and I head back to the US for our final stint. I'm looking forward to these 6 months going by quickly. I have amazingly scheduled all of my courses to end in mid-Feb, which means that I'll have a nice 3 month window before graduation to relax and chill while leisurely studying for the bar. Why leisurely? Because I'll have 6 months to prepare for the BAR!!!! I still can't even believe that it all worked out and hopefully it will be pulled off without a hitch.

We'll see Liam 3 times during that 6 months and only be apart for a maximum of 6 weeks, but as little as 3 weeks at times. All of my classes are on one day this semester from 9am-9pm. It isn't actually so bad because there are at least a few weeks I already know of where one or more of the classes will be cancelled, only a portion has to go or rescheduled for a later date (which I'm not then required to attend.) So this provides good study time during the day. The other big deal is trying to figure out how to get to and from school. By train it can take about 3.5 hours if the stars align and the trains work out. If I drive it is 3 hours and I can leave whenever. I'm leaning toward driving although I would be able to do work on the train, but it all depends on my dad figuring out the car situation.

The budget does not have room for a car in it. Also, I managed to score a job for while I'm in school. It's with a tech company, so not really in my area, but it certainly could be. I can work between 20-40 hours, work whenever I want w/ the exception of a few hours per week that need to be done during an 8 hr window, the pay is pretty good and I get to stay home with Z. Definitely a cool job with the possibility of something more if I wanted and not too crazy taxing. This is perfect for the Fall. 3 papers (65-70 pgs) and 2 exams isn't even that bad. I mean it could be really bad, but I'm just glad it will be over soon.

I still haven't heard back from the FIRM, but I don't generally think they were working under the assumption that anything was urgently required, so I wouldn't be surprised if it took a while. I'll keep checking in and letting them know I'm alive. We still can't believe we have made it this far. We've been doing this for 2 years, 19 months with a baby/pregnant and there's only 6 months left. It will be so nice to just be together with maybe the exception of a few days here, a week there and that's it. We've already started planning the first non-just visiting each other vacation. This is if course if I actually have a job and we're not being crushed by my loan payments. Debating 3 weeks in Ireland and the UK in Aug (a friend is getting married+hen night and stag) or cutting that shorter and saving days for a 2 weeker to Thailand or South Africa. I can't freaking wait.

Baby Wars

2011-08-23T02:58:00.002-04:00

Ok, so now I know what the whole competitive side of having kids feels like. Z has a cousin 10 days older than her, Phoebe, and she's a cutie. Z has been quicker with the motor skills, crawled and pulled herself up, while Phoebe has had teeth for months now. We haven't really thought about what it will be like for them to grow up so close together. Liam would know more about that because he has a twin. I never realized how much more impactful the comparisons you make between children are when they are the same age. It's a lot different to say, "So and So walked at 10 months while it took blah blah until they were 14 months" when the kids are 5 years apart. But when they are right there next to each other it can seem more like "Ohhh so and so is so much more advanced than blah blah, look at how far ahead s/he is." That said, you start to realize just how much parents can hear/see what they want to hear/see.

This brings me to the first baby showdown in my family. My grandmother informed me 2 days ago that Phoebe said thunder. Phoebe is 9 months has maybe said dada, I don't think mama is there yet. THUNDER! Seriously?! According to my grandmom, her mom, my aunt by marriage, Sally, walked into the room and said "Oh listen to all the thunder" and then Phoebe said it back.......

I'm all for thinking your baby is the smartest cookie in the box, but come on. Sure Z says things all the time that sound like words, but it's usually just babbling that our brain is trying to make sense of, it isn't her reciting the Gettysburg address. Now, maybe Phoebe did say thunder and I'm just being a little crazy, but that just seems unlikely. Sure we have pics of Z standing on her own at 3 months. But that was one of us standing her up while the other snapped a few pics before she toppled over onto the pillows.

What I worry about now is how that can create problems for the two as they grow up. My side of the family is crazy close, as in I see all of my uncles, aunts and first cousins pretty much daily. My uncle has a set of twins, David and Jake, that are 2.5. David is super outgoing, knows all of his letters, numbers, and colors. Jake is kind of a sulky kid who doesn't really like to interact. They took Jake to a specialist and they said that he was on the tail end of the autism spectrum, but it was really done, so he could work with a specialist and it would be covered by insurance. Now he's totally blossoming and becoming more vocal and active and wants to participate. Part of it is what a few of us suspected all along. Jake was so shy and withdrawn because David took over. They almost never had time apart, so David would do the things people asked Jake to do, answer the questions directed at Jake, etc, so Jake kind of just gave up. The more praise David got, the more Jake just didn't feel like trying. Now the girls, of course live in different houses, have different parents etc, so it wouldn't be as bad as with the twins, but it's still something I worry about. Because they are around each other so much the comparisons will just keep coming. I guess it's a part of life and I'm just going into protection mode, but I'll certainly be keeping an eye out for it and making sure that they both feel like they are their own person outside of their comparisons to each other.

Schedule Craziness

2011-08-22T02:36:00.002-04:00

And here I thought that choosing my classes was the most difficult part. Now my general concerns about about ensuring I'm not completely screwing myself over when it comes to requirements. I had a professor who mentioned an in depth paper would be required for the class. In order to graduate, a 25-30 page research paper is required. I completed that course and might be taking 2 this semester. Yikes I know. So I emailed the prof to ask about the paper requirement and the reply was somewhere along the lines of 20 pages would be fine if you're really great. This isn't even for a writing requirement class! That doesn't even make sense!! Needless to say, that class will be dropped and I'll be finding a better alternative.

My class on one day/wk method is still working out fine, but now getting to and from school is the issue. My dad, who promised me a car to use for 6 months, has said that he doesn't have any cars right now. He buys used cars, takes them to his friend that owns a garage and then sells them. They split the profits. He almost seemed surprised by the fact that I needed a car, although we had throughly discussed it back in May. So it looks like I'll need to get by without a car for a couple of weeks or figure something out on my own. Our budget covered car insurance, but not really a rental car + buying a used car. I might be able to swing cabs for a few trips back and forth to the train. Train tickets aren't really in the budget, but I don't have the time to take the bus.

That said, I'm looking forward to living with the grandparents, helping my grandmother out and just generally getting the house in order. Any ideas for a kitchen renovation on a crazy small budget?

The amazing drowning girl

2011-08-15T02:34:00.002-04:00

It appears that Z is sick and tired of us and is continually trying to drown herself any which way she can. She refuses to take water out of a bottle, but she LOVES it out of a cup. Sometimes she'll let us hold it for her, but usually she wants to hold it for herself. This inevitably leads to her tilting a cup that is barely 10% full up to the point that the water covers her mouth and nose. Even when we are watching her intently and trying to make sure she doesn't, she still manages to do it. Coughing and sputtering and she's trying to do it again.

Her new trick is to try and drink the bath water. This is bath water that isn't even halfway up her thighs in the little baby bath, we haven't moved to the big tub yet. When she does that, she's bending with her head at least touching her feet and manages to also put her nose in the water. More coughing and sputtering. She just does this all so quickly and doesn't seem to learn. Same goes for falling off of the sofa. We have a pretty low one and put pillows on top of the carpet, but she will perch her little butt right on the edge and play and seems really surprised when she falls over. I'm torn between saving her and letting her fall to teach her that she will fall off. She falls about half a foot onto the pillows, sometimes she cries from shock, but sometimes she just starts laughing. She's not hurt, but I'm a little afraid that we will go somewhere else, she will think she's at home and decide she wants to launch herself off of their sofa.

So those are the ways Z is trying to off herself while within an arms reach of her parents. Motor skills are moving along. She's standing, can feed herself bits of food, crawling like a maniac. Of those, my SIL doesn't believe she can stand. Ah SIL, I have two, but SIL1 is quite a piece of work. She's nice enough, but at the 4th child, 1st girl she believes that she runs the show. She's actually taken a plate of food out of my hands that I was still eating because she "needed" to get the dishes cleaned. Anyway, SIL1 has decided that it is impossible for Z, at the tender age of 8 mo can be standing and furniture cruising and preparing to walk....

She has no kids, I don't even think she has babysat a kid, but she knows how kids progress developmentally. Liam just rolled his eyes and said, well she can believe that it isn't possible all she wants. I walked at the end of my 9th month and could say 3 word sentences by my 1st birthday. There is a range of development. So that is that on the baby front.

Employment and school-wise, my classes are chosen, I don't know if I'll keep my current schedule or move some classes around, but either way I have everything set and that feels good. I had a quasi-interview with THE FIRM. They seemed super pumped about meeting me and excited about the things that interested me because it is what they are working on. I may or may not be going back to talk to a partner in the next week or so, or perhaps later in the year. Either way it was definitely a great boost for me and not feeling like finding something would be impossible.

I have also gotten 3 callbacks for non-law during school jobs that I can do remotely! I'm really looking forward to being able to help my grandparents out with fixing things up around the house, perhaps being able to take the train to classes once in a while instead of driving, and not needing to take out loans for the spring. That would be amazing. I'll keep working on applying to jobs, interviews, and perhaps working on some school related things before this summer comes to a close. It really really did fly by.

Well now I have no excuses

2011-08-07T00:57:00.003-04:00

They have finally put a gym in our compound. A few weeks ago they came around and asked what machines people would want, so apparently they have arrived. I know there is an elliptical and treadmill, which I would really like to use for the C25K program. I am not a runner by any stretch of the imagination, but I would like to be able to keep up a good jog without feeling like my chest is about to explode.

Ok, I just bought the app, so there is no turning back now. I'm bound and determined to finish it ahead of schedule and actually keep it up when I get back to the US. This place has the ridiculous ability to make people gain weight with nobodies business. I will not let it get me down any longer. The gym is about 50 feet from the house, there isn't really an excuse now.

Next week is the big non-interview interview with my firm. I'm looking forward to it, just to give me an idea about where I stand job-wise. I have at least a few leads for in school jobs to help with expenses and possibly enough for tuition in the spring. That would be amazing, but we'll see if anything pans out. So many things going on on the job front, I just need one yes to make me feel better. It's like during the law school application process, I applied to over 30, but once I got into 1 I knew I was going to be ok. Even for a job just in school will help with the stress of finding one after school. Some of the ones I have applied for might actually work out for after I graduate. Fingers crossed for the first yes.

And that's me done

2011-08-02T03:02:00.004-04:00

with 2L, completely or maybe just starting 3L, not sure about that one. My exam is finished and I am so glad I am done. It was brutal and I'm sure that the results will not be pretty, but there isn't much that can be done about that now.

So far this summer after SA has been chill. We have our long weekend coming up in 2 weeks!! It won't be all fun because I'll be going in for an "interview" with my firms office in the area. It's not really an interview, but a meeting with the HR manager. I'll be treating it like an interview. It would be amazing to get a job, well any job at this point, but at least one on the same continent as my husband would be a plus. After a couple of hours at the firm, I'll be meeting Liam and Z at the hotel for a quiet night. We pretty much plan on just hanging out by the pool, going to the water park and eating good meals. While we could do all of this at home things are always more fun when you are away.

My life for the past few weeks has consisted of baking, cooking, studying and family time. Since most of our guy friends here are all on their own (families have fled for the summer), we have been hosting a lot of dinners for our guy friends. So far my chocolate lava cakes are the most popular dessert and our garlic bread still needs a little work. I think the fact that we may have been using bulbs and not cloves of garlic and forgetting to roast them has made it a need-a-mint meal addition.

Z is getting bigger and bigger everyday and her new trick is falling off of the couch. The edge of the sofa means nothing to her. She will perch her little butt right on the edge and play away until she promptly falls off. Sometimes there is crying with no tears and other times she just looks up at us with a big smile. I guess it is good that we have such a low couch and put pillows on the floor when she decides to have couch time.

Standing, cruising and growling are her new favorite things. I am really amazed at the sounds she can make. At first I was worried she was coming down with a cold until I realized she was putting on her, I have something in my throat, voice whenever she wanted. Usually when she was talking to one of her toys. Man I wish I knew what she was saying.

Now my thoughts for the fall are to my grandparents house and just how the hell I am going to baby proof it. With over 20 grandkids, kids coming in and out every day or so you can imagine how much stuff there is everywhere. I'm back 2 weeks before my first class, so I'll be spending that time helping my grandmom de-clutter the house. I just don't want Z to find a GI Joe from 1985 and start chowing down.

A childhood filled with kids

2011-07-27T23:40:00.003-04:00

I was reading Proto Attorney's To breed or not to breed and I couldn't help thinking about what my plans had been for having kids. I am the oldest of 5, 7 if you include my dad's two other kids and the oldest of like 20 grandchildren. I never really had the chance to decide if I did or didn't like kids because it just didn't seem like them not being around was a possibility. There were always children everywhere. I was the oldest therefore it was my job to help babysit (on my own!scary!) every once in a while. My mom worked nights, so it was my job to make sure everyone got into their pjs, got into bed, woke up in the morning, and left for school. There were even times I had to push one of my sisters in her stroller to my high school, while the other one complained because she had to walk, so I didn't miss a weekend play rehearsal. Bags were packed with snacks, toys, and other little kid entertainment needs. But that wasn't weird for me then that was just the way things were.

It wasn't until I went to college that I think I knew what total silence sounded like. I didn't have to worry about anyone but me. I could come and go as I pleased, wake up as late as I liked and just sit and read a book without having a tiny person want to sit on my lap or just otherwise be around me. After that, I really thought, I wouldn't have kid for a long long time. I figured once I was finished with college, law school, got a job for a few years, then actually had time to date, I would be well into my 30s before I had kids. And I was ok with that, the thought of not having kids never even entered my mind. I mean I know that there are people who don't have kids due to choice or other reasons, but there aren't any in my family. Even family members who have had difficulties conceiving, have used whatever methods at their disposal to have kids. A part of me wonders if it was just conditioning from the way that I grew up that sort of forced my maternal side to come out. You don't really have a choice when you're trying to get your 4yo sister to puke into a bucket and not all over you for the 3rd time.

My husband didn't think he would have kids of his own. He is older than I am and figured at his age he would most likely end up with a women around his age, possibly older, possibly divorced or with children and it wouldn't be easy to have his own kids. Then I showed up and there was a greater possibility of having kids. And I met him and thought, oh wow, maybe I won't be waiting another 10 years to have kids. It was almost like a forgone conclusion that we would have kids, he started talking about having kids before he even proposed! Yeah, I but the kibosh on that one. But we're here now, have the cutest little munchkin ever, except during the Adoption Hour, as Liam calls it. This is usually between 4 and 5am. We generally bring Z into our bed then because Liam and Z leave the house at 5:30. She is bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to go, like I usually am at maybe 6:30 and just wants to play. She won't stay in her crib to play, so we become her personal prison and jungle gym, complete with hair pulling, head butting, and trying to scale the headboard. It isn't always the most fun, but when you let of a scream of agony because a tiny little gremlin has just head butted your mouth and you open your eyes and see that little gremlin give you a big smile, you can't help but smile back.

Child Birth Pain All In Your Mind?

2011-07-20T06:00:00.002-04:00

Oh hell no! Now that I have actually had a child I feel that I'm not totally talking out of my ass on this one. I was reading this article here, about child birth and the notion that it is all on our minds because of the way tv and movies portray it. I wonder if they ever thought to stop and ask whether or not movies portray child birth as bring crazy painful because it is crazy painful! I was only in labor for 12 hours and had an epidural for about 7 of that, so even I can't really speak to the people who have done "natural" childbirth.

I say more power to those people, and if you did it on purpose you have massive steel balls. My mom and grandmother, both nurses (NICU and maternity) didn't even bat an eyelash at me wanting an epidural. My great grandmother was a mid-wife, having mom and grandmom as nurses, I think they would have stared at me like I had two heads if I said I wanted to do it without an epidural. My mom has had 5 kids, 2 without epis and 3 with and she was so happy when she was finally able to get one and obviously didn't feel it compromised her birthing experience, which I have had the displeasure of hearing in detail.

After spending about 4 hours, laying on my side, shakes wracking my entire body and doing my relaxing breathing, it know I would have made it through, but I certainly wouldn't have been able to have a nap when the contractions got really bad. I wouldn't have been able to hold my daughter and feed her right after because I was already passing out from exhaustion just a few hours in. Child birth is painful, this isn't a construction that our post-modern world has created to force women to not enjoy the pleasant, smell the roses, this is fun, ride that is child birth. You wander into a hut somewhere where a woman is having a baby and I don't think she'll be knitting a baby blanket for her baby as she very nicely pushes.

So whatever you choose, don't try and make it seem like the other side just doesn't understand how they are missing out on something. Maybe some moms don't want a 3 hour nap while they are in labor and maybe I don't want to hear about how euphoric your non-medicated child birth was. We'll all just have to agree to disagree. Rant over!

And I'm Back

2011-07-18T03:50:00.002-04:00

Wrapping things up took a bit longer than I thought. The last week of work was crazy including a few dinners that went well past midnight and I was freaking leaving early! They certainly know how to rip it up. We had our little going away party for me, the sweet treats were quite yummy. The office was really good to me. As much as I hated being away from the family, working at the Firm was really good for me. I was so nervous last summer that I feel like I didn't make the best impression. This time around I was more comfortable, had tasks that were my own and worked on things where people actually seemed to need my help. The recommendation I got was also killer. It will come in handy when I'm having my meetings later this summer. Locking this down now is something that would make 3L a lot more bearable.

After leaving work, it was back to the apartment building of puke (oh weekend fun), broken beer bottles, and general rundown-ness. Moving out took a bit of eye lash batting at the on duty supervisor to give me my deposit back out of his own pocket because the safe was closed on the weekend. So I gave him the receipt and we checked out my place to make sure I hadn't smeared poo on the walls or something and was on my merry way. Just walking back into that airport started to make the bile in my stomach churn. At least it wasn't like my last trip there. It was a completely uncomplicated, easy trip. Hung out in the lounge (thank you frequent flier card), ate some food, got on the long flight back home.

I was out of the airport and into a cab in record time. It was like the travel gods knew that I really needed to get home. My bags were in a cab and I was on my way in less than 30 min! I got in and apparently Zig was having a fussy night, so Liam was just putting her to sleep on the recliner. I have to admit, it might make me a bad mom, but I totally picked her up, started squeezing her and kissing her, definitely waking her up, but I couldn't resist. At first she looked at my like I was a crazy person, until a big smile was plastered on her face. Can't say I wasn't at least a little worried at being recognized.

Now a routine has sort of started. She's still in daycare, until our month runs out this week. Then she'll stay in 3 days/wk. I still have a class to finish/final to take and I would like to get a little work done on some research projects before I get slammed in the fall. She's got her little daycare friends and I almost feel guilty taking her out for 2 days a week. I mean she is literally trying to jump out of her car seat and onto the play mats with all of her little buddies. She is one of the more mobile ones, so she uses her mad skillz to go get toys for all of the other kids. Such a little sweetie!

While she is at school, I will be working around the house on academic and non-academic endeavors. Laundry, straightening stuff up, dishes, cooking, maybe even a little working out will be in order. And I'll also be taking every opportunity I can to relax. I got my classes for the fall. Thanks to my amazing planning, I only have class for 1 day a week. It will be brutal from 9am-10pm. What adds to that brutality is that I will be driving to school every week. It is the only plan that makes sense. Because I have to be there so early and leave so late trains are almost totally out, unless I wanted to miss the last 15 min of class every week. Buses are also out because of my schedule. This means driving. It will be at least 3 hours each way...not accounting for traffic. I'm hoping that since I'll be coming and going so early/late that it won't be too bad. So I'll be leaving Monday mornings at 5amish and returning home at about 1am. 20 hours of awake time, damn I wish coffee did anything to keep me awake. And I also wish my school books were audio books and maybe I could make a real dent in my studies.

So I'm looking forward to a few weeks where a few days a week I can chill/nap/read at my leisure during the day because this fall is going to be a KILLER!

Developmental Update

2011-07-08T12:59:00.002-04:00

I have been seriously remiss in updating about Z in a more specific manner. She has gone from finally learning to roll over from her back to her belly about 2 weeks ago, to crawling 1.5 weeks ago to being able to pull herself up on unsteady surfaces today! She could pull herself up for a while, especially on the coffee table, which she loved to gnaw on on the way up to the standing position. We are really amazed at how quickly she is figuring things out. It is amazing to see her bouncing on all fours on minute and then all of the sudden she is crawling. We just looked at each other when that happened like, "did she just learn to crawl right then?"

I predict walking by the end of the summer. I crawled by the time I was 9 months, so it wouldn't be completely crazy. She cruises along the furniture super quickly and has an amazing fascination with wires and cords. She even knows if they are trick wires we have left around for her to play with or connected to something vital. She doesn't want the dummy wires, she wants the real deal. I am so relieve that Liam mounted the TV to the wall months ago. That huge thing sitting on a tv stand would have meant disaster.

With all of that development there has still been no movement on the tooth front. Liam swears that she is growing them from the back to the front. She gnaws on everything and even tries to bite on Liam's does. EWWWW. She's battling a seriously runny nose right now and maybe that is linked to the teeth, who knows, but I can't wait to see them in person next week. We're so close now!!!

I want to bake.

2011-07-07T17:24:00.000-04:00

I miss having a kitchen and making my own food. I already have menus planned out for all of the cooking and baking I will be doing. I am so looking forward to actually feeling like I live somewhere for a while, not like I'm some transient squatting in a room hoping that the real owner doesn't come back before I have to leave.

Some things are just different

2011-07-05T00:28:00.003-04:00

This is the first time I have been away for the 4th and not been around Americans or anyone that even cared it was the 4th of July, guess what it blows. I really like the holiday because it isn't about presents or anything ridiculous, except maybe driving to every local town and finding out where the fireworks are by spotting them through the trees.

Liam had a grand time with Z, he dresser her up, made brownies, etc. I think he likes the 4th more than some Americans just as a screw you to the Brits! Even though I am one of those too! Oh well, Z will certainly have a confusingly awesome time trying to tell people just how she identifies herself.

We'll just have to find out own way to celebrate something this summer, perhaps incorporating Liam's bday. I have totally dropped the ball on that one, I have no clue what to get him. It feels a bit crazy to buy anything since it's like he's buying his own present, I don't have the time or supplies to make anything in advance and it's too late to order something. I'll figure it out, but it is a little depressing.

Summer is winding down and there isn't much time left. I am trying to make it as productive as possible. I am turning in projects quickly, except for one that has been on my desk for a week because no one attached to it has been in the office. Glad to know vacations are not taboo at the firm, well at least in this office. I have also set up my meetings with managing directors at other offices where I want to work. Yay, networking. Two networking lunches this week and one for next week so far. This summer will be productive and helpful and I'll look back on it and forget how much it sucked to be away from the family.

Only 2 weeks to go

2011-07-02T13:02:00.002-04:00

I am counting down the hours, only 336 more to go. I am taking advantage of the time off though, studying for my class, although it's really tough since my internet WILL NOT WORK!!! I can't listen to the classes, but I can at least finish the reading. It just really sucks that I can't totally veg out with good tv and things like that because the internet is really making me crazy. I don't know how anyone can function on 65k. It's like using dial up. Remember dial up, the thought of it makes me want to scream. I hope that it will all be worked out in the next 2 days, but if it isn't then I am going to have to wait until I get back to listen to all of my classes. To listen at work I would have to download a plug in and I don't really want to do that on the company machine.

Summer Classes

2011-06-30T16:54:00.002-04:00

Have I mentioned I'm taking a summer class. It's a tax course, which is actually enjoyable. Unfortunately it is done online and with the time difference I miss pretty much every single class. I set up my computer, get all ready and then pass out at midnight without fail. At least there are recordings or I would be royally screwed. I'll have a little catching up to do once I go back home to prepare for finals, but it is totally worth it.

I'm planning on taking 5 classes in the fall for 16 credits. This means that in the Spring, if my course selection turns out the way I want it, I can finish the semester a little early. This would mean that My little family would only have to spend 21 more weeks apart until I finish my degree instead of 36 weeks. I still can't believe that this is all almost over. One full hardcore semester and then the bulk of it is all over. The fact that this is all within reach almost seems unimaginable. I still can't believe all that has happened since I left to school. I have taken over 30 flights, got preggers, had a baby, moved 3 times, had 2 summer placements, amassed quite a bit of student loan debt now in the high 5 figures and celebrated two wedding anniversaries. That's a whole lot of changes and momentous events.

I can only imagine what the next few years will hold, but I am certainly looking forward to it! Yay optimism!!!

Back to work

2011-06-28T06:10:00.002-04:00

After a couple of health set backs I have finally made it back to work 2 days late. Everyone in the office, almost seemed horrified I was coming back so soon, but I knew if I held off I might not come back. I'm still having some stomach issues, but nothing projectile, so I have put myself in the "I can work" column. My travels back to work included 2 flights, one creepy dude who kept watching my while I slept at the gate waiting area and another staring at me on the flight. I guess I should be flattered?

I came to the office straight from the airport, grabbed some lunch (soup), took a shower and headed up to the my office. I didn't really have much today and I'll probably head to the apartment early, i.e. 6pm. It's only 2.5 weeks is what I keep telling myself. It's little things that take only hours off of my stay that make me so happy. I checked on my travel into and found that I am getting in at 10:30pm instead of 2am! Score!!! Who would have thought 4 hours could brighten my day.

At a little less than 7 months old Z is already cruising along the furniture. Liam finds that no matter where he puts her down she is pulled to the wires of our entertainment system like a freaking tractor beam. Glad that Liam already had the foresight to mount the tv to the wall, but now a wire solution is in the works in his mind. When it comes to DIY I stand back and maybe hand him a screwdriver every once in a while. With the exception of the installation of more and more shelves all over the kitchen, I have given him wide home improvement berth. I can only imagine what child-focused improvements we'll need to make that haven't even dawned on us yet!

Another hospital trip; Only Liam is left,

2011-06-25T02:39:00.004-04:00

Because now Z and I have both been to the hospital this summer! I have never, never, never felt as bad as I did beginning at 1am Friday morning. This includes childbirth where you at least get a reprieve between contractions and know that a beautiful little baby waits at the end. Liam, Z and I went to dinner on Thurs evening. We ate the same food. Later after Z went to bed, we both had a couple of drinks in the hotel. I had 2 rum and cokes and he had a couple of beers. Our night ended at about 10pm. Nothing too crazy, just a quiet night in. At about 1 am I woke up feeling blah, nauseous blah. Near 2am Liam suggested a nice little sip of seltzer water and the fireworks began. And the best part of all of this was that we had a flight to catch at 12pm on Friday.

So I'm shaking, crying and laying on the bathroom floor hoping that getting whatever it is out of my system will make me feel better. It didn't. We didn't have travel insurance, so I knew if we didn't get on the flight today, we would be out a couple of grand, Liam and Z would have to head home anyway and it just wouldn't be good. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to hold myself together for most of the flight, only puking twice in line while checking in. I slept through most of the flights and I have to say Liam was a GODSEND. I mean, I know that he has been doing all of this stuff on his own, but he was up with me during the night and so tired, but he took not only baby duty, but luggage duty and making sure I didn't walk into a wall duty.

We finally got home at 2am, had a friend come over and we went straight to the hospital. I got 3 IV bags of who knows what, went to sleep, woke up feeling much better and headed home. Here is my issue. I am supposed to fly back to work tonight, less than 24 hours after leaving the hospital. If I don't fly tonight, barring Turkish Airlines being amazing and letting me change the flight we are out over $900 for the new flight. So what do I do? I told work I would be in for Monday. As of today I have 3 weeks left at work. I just really can't see myself getting on a plane tonight. I also don't want to have to spend $800 on another flight.

Enjoying Hotel Living

2011-06-22T13:16:00.002-04:00

Liam and Z are here, hence my MIA status. They have been here for almost a week and have been enjoying as much as we can. The weather has been HORRIBLE. Torrential rain almost everyday. We got in a few great hours at the zoo on the weekend. Speaking of the zoo, you get to freaking feed the animals. They give you bags of fruit and veg for a donation of whatever you feel is appropriate. We gave a couple of euros and my only regret isn't that we didn't buy more bags. Feeding the elephants has to be one of the most fun things I have ever done at a zoo.

The elephants are so dexterous with their trunks and it was amazing to see them grab a piece of fruit or veg off out of your hand, swing it up to their mouth and chow down. I don't know how this is healthy for the animals or you keep people from giving them bad stuff, but we weren't second guessing and fed away. Liam and I actually got so excited I hate to say it, but we kind of forgot about Z sleeping in the stroller right next to us. I'm sure she won't feel bad about being left out of our goofy face, look-at-me-I'm-feeding-an-elephant-face pictures.

Work has been good, I'm missing out on a work fun day tomorrow because the fam is here, but I'll swing by the bar have a drink or two and say hi. I was also able to chat at a few lawyers who have worked in the office I want to work in and they are setting up meetings for me! I'm definitely trying to make the most of my time here. That said, I can't wait until we're all home together even if it's only for a few weeks.

Trip to the Hospital

2011-06-12T12:16:00.003-04:00

I'll preface this with, Z is fine.

I would have to say that the only thing worse than calling Liam when we normally talk and not getting an answer is calling when we normally talk, have him answer the phone, hear Z screaming bloody murder, hear hospital sounds going on, and not get any response when I scream hello over and over. After a call from the daycare that she was acting a bit weird, had a fever and diarrhea Liam had to take a trip to the Pediatric Emergency Clinic in town. He answered my call in the middle of her blood draw because in his mind not answering would make me worry. I have since conveyed that if there is the possibility of me being sad I can't talk to them at our usual time and wondering what they might be doing at the grocery store and me LOSING MY SHIT over an answered call where I can hear her screaming and no one is responding to me over the phone, I'll take the unanswered phone call.

The visit was quite simple according to Liam. She was seen by a doctor within 5 minutes, no paperwork to fill out because thankfully there is an integrated national medical database where you just give them your phone number and it pulls up all of the info no matter what hospital or doctor's office you have been to. So her entire history was there for them to look over. There were blood and urine samples taken and tests run after about 30 min. Everything came back fine, but she might have the beginnings of an ear infection, the very beginning, so they gave Liam some drugs and he was on his way. During all of this time, I was pretty much freaking out because I had no idea what was going on. I called his phone back about 10 times before he finally picked up and told me what was going on.

I think it's teething and I'm praying it's teething. All of those sunshiney feelings from my earlier post about Z bonding with her dad and giving him time to be the primary parent pretty much go out of the window when there is a real problem. I want both of us to be there. And I'm looking up flights as we speak just in case they can come visit me at the end of this week because I'm not going anymore time than I have to without seeing them!

My Husband aka Mr. Incredible

2011-06-12T06:01:00.002-04:00

This was a nickname given to Liam by my little brother and sister after meeting him for the first time. They thought he looked like Mr. Incredible from The Incredibles, which is one of my favorite movies ever. Back then I knew the title was true, but now I know it even more. Liam has been taking care of Z for the past 3 weeks, almost a month now. I know a lot of the time we talk about how we want our husbands to be true partners and take an active role and all of that, but the women are generally still the primary caregivers, we're the ones that get deferred to and checked with on a lot of issues when it comes to kids.

To say the past 3 weeks have been weird would be an understatement. I never realized how much it would affect me, how much being the person to check with was important to me. It's hard to bite my lounge when we're on skype and I see him doing things differently than I might do them. I have to keep reminding myself, he's not doing it wrong, he's just doing it differently. While this time away has been so hard for me, I am very happy at how confident Liam has become in his parenting. Before whenever I was there and she would start crying, he would give it a try for a while and then hand her over. He was really afraid she wouldn't drink her bottles or let him put her to sleep, but now, he can get her to pass out in about 5 minutes, change diapers in a flash and pick out the cutest outfits for her. I often ask him about what it's like to be a single dad. His one constant reply is tiring. If it does nothing else other than show him how tough it can be to wrangle an infant, then this summer job was totally worth it.

And to say that people are amazed at what he is doing would be an understatement. In addition to the fact that many fathers in that part of the world don't really take an active role in the lives of their children, particularly their female children, means he's a rarity. All of the women ohh and ahh over his abilities to hold her in one hand and pack up the car or calm her while grocery shopping. I can only imagine what they think of me, but they think he is just the bees knees and the best husband ever. I, of course, already knew he was the best husband, but this has certainly proved it. He will be approaching the final frontier of solo parenting, a plane trip, when they come to visit ME!!

Work week over

2011-06-10T13:46:00.002-04:00

I'm finished with my work conference and need to explore this new city. I found an awesome apartment through airbnb, which is so great. I love that they have verified photos of the apartments, so you know they are legit. Everyone has given me about 15 places I NEED to see, but what I really want to do is go to the English language movie theater and watch a triple feature. The luxury of watching a movie without sprinting out of the theater at the slightest peep from Z or standing in the side hallway out of eye sight, but able to see part of the screen. I will go see some of the sights, but I really want to sit in the theater and relax. I also think they serve booze there. SCORE!!

The work conference was nice, lunches were delicious and the dinner was so great. I only wish they hadn't had me order first, so I would have know everyone was ordering appetizers! Their shrimp all looked like they would melt in your mouth. I was happy that I managed to keep it to no more than 5 glasses of wine and left when I started to fall asleep at the table. Midnight is way way way past my bedtime. Well, it's more like my second possible bedtime if Z is a little cranky. I get to see my husband and baby in less than a week and the thought of it is making me a bit crazy! I need to put it out of my mind, so I don't get too excited.

Getting through the summer and wishing I was with the fam, but this is best from a work perspective. I must make sure it's worth it and I will!

Graduation Presents and other future plans

2011-06-05T10:55:00.004-04:00

Now that completing law school is a mere 9 months away, Liam has begun to ask about graduation presents. I've been trying to get him to go on a cruise forever. At first he thought that they were confining, overly structured ships filled with old people, but I have been able to convince him that they are awesome! I went on my last cruise when I was 9 and it was to Hawaii. Even back then I remember it being amazing, especially for a kid. I barely saw my mom and grandmom (1) because they spent most of the time in the infirmary because they are both appartently incredibly prone to sea sickness (2) all the kids activities meant that our little kid gang had free reign over the ship and took total advantage.

Anyway, back to the graduation treat, we're thinking of going on a cruise. I really really want to go on one of the Royal Caribbean mega ships because I've heard they are amazing and there is tons to do. Of course all of this would generally depend on my job situation. If I have sometime lined up then it's no prob. If not then things get a little trickier. That said, I really hope we can go on one because we haven't been on a non-visiting family/visiting each other vacation since July 2009. We might be able to sneak in a weekend trip to Oman or something, but again that would be more for a visa run (leaving the country and coming back in to get another 30 day visitors visa) than an actual vacation.

I really can't wait until we can just be a normal family. My the time Z is one she will have been across the Atlantic 10 times, flown 14 times and been to 6 countries. While I'm all for raising a globally conscious child, she won't remember any of it and it is exhausting! I relish the opportunity to be in one place for more than 2 months and not getting on a plane once, of not living out of a suitcase/plastic bins/backpacks, spending more on flights than I spend in 2 months, and being able to be parents to our daughter at the same time in the same time zone in the same house. At this point the job thing is practically secondary to us being together. I'm sure that tune will change once my loans come due. Things are not looking pretty and this is only taking out loans for 2 years of tuition. I don't know how people can handle all of it in loans, tuition and living expenses for 3 years!

Finally have internet again

2011-06-04T07:55:00.002-04:00

After I moved out of the hotel, I decided it was time to pick up a mobile internet usb and go from there. After 4 days, freaking down and crying in the vodafone store because I hadn't seen Z in 3 days, I am finally online using O2! Thanks god because I was beginning to freak out.

My apartment is a bit of a mess, but work has really nice facilities so I don't really mind hanging around here. I also want to be available for any last minute projects or foosball games that go on in the evenings. The best thing about Liam and Z being at home is I can spend crazy hours at the office and it has no adverse impact on my life. Grades from the last semester are coming in and I have to say it was one of my better semesters. I have actually done better this year than 1L. I don't know if that says anything about having a baby in law school, I suspect not, other than maybe don't be too afraid.

Other than that, I'm not really exploring the city. I want to wait until Liam and Z are here before we go to the Zoo, Botanical Gardens and the like. I wish I could do some traveling, but the prices of last minute flights and time involved just makes me want to take a nap. The biggest and most fun I had last week was choosing course for next semester. I have successfully managed to get them all on one day, which would be amazing. I would only have to be away from Z for 14 hours a week, although I might put her into daycare twice or three times a week because she seems to love it!

Liam sends me a few daily photos and a run down of their morning which I get when I come into work. The best part is when he describes her nearly launching herself out of the carseat and into the arms of the women who work in the infant room at daycare. He likes to call her little dance the crazy worm, she squirms, claps and smiles so much he can barely get her out. It makes me happy to no end to know how much she enjoys it there. Since she's such a responsive baby, smiling, cooing and laughing up a storm people love to interact with her and she LOVES it when people pay attention to her.

I miss her so much, but knowing that she's happy makes me happy. And thank goodness for skype again. She looks at me on the screen and immediately makes me smile, which makes me feel better. I keep having this irrational fear that she's going to forget me. Summer class reading and catching up on all of the gossip website are calling my name.

Allll Byyyyyy Myyyyyyyseeeeelllllfff...

2011-05-29T10:19:00.003-04:00

so I'm all by myself working at my summer job. Thankfully work is interesting, people seem to actually be coming to me with projects they need my help on, and I'm not making a complete and total fool of myself.

Everyone in the office has been super nice. They keep thinking of projects to give me that are manageable, at least they seem that way and are pretty surprised when I give them to them within the day. I keep thinking maybe I should slow it down and not crank things out so fast. And this isn't just me spitting things out, I'm double, triple and sometimes quadrupling checking what I'm turning in. I have to say thank god for my legal research class. Not being able to use Lexis or Westlaw really sucks. I'm sure the office has accounts, but if I can find the info without using them I'm certainly going to use them. Google Books, Google Scholar and the office library have been so helpful. I'm also really happy to report that things I have been studying are actually coming in handy.

I have my own office with my name on the door and everything. Most people are out of the office before 6:30 and I usually stay until 6. I've been invited to work in at least 3 practice areas, so far. Litigation, real estate and corporate have has tasks for me to complete. Each one was interesting in their own right, so I can't really say there is one I would prefer over the other. But litigation does come with an awesome weekly lunch!

I'm still in a hotel right now and will finally get to move into my apartment on the 1st. I'm excited to have my own space even if it's only until July. I did absolutely nothing this weekend and loved it. I just wandered around the hotel, found a couple of restaurants and cafes nearby to eat at and read books for fun. Appreciating this time away is something I'm willing myself to do, so I won't get caught up in wallowing about not being with Z and Liam. While I haven't done much exploring of the city I have been searching high and low to find a store that sells AA batteries. I thought they would last longer in my breast pump, but alas they are dying every 1.5 days. 8 AA batteries every 1.5 days, not fun to lug around. I ordered an EU plug transformer for my pump and it should arrive soon. I also bought a hand pump, but that worked about as well as willing myself to express.

Can't wait for the next work week to begin and get in there. At least having a good work experience will make the weeks go faster.

Work is getting good

2011-05-24T12:33:00.002-04:00

Work has been good so far. I'm actually getting some interesting work researching topics I have, thankfully, studied a little bit about. Everyone in the office is super nice and has been trying to include me as much as possible. I have lunch meeting one practice area a week and who doesn't like a free lunch. I am also getting to flex my native English speaker skills by helping with translations. So far so good. Best part about the office...foosball table! I haven't played it yet because it is almost always occupied. There are over 100 lawyers in the building, so that makes sense. Now if I could only figure out the coffee/cappuccino machine.

The hotel I'm staying in is tiny, but it's a clean room and enough space for just me. I'm actually a little bit sad for when I move into the apartment. This hotel is about 6 minutes from work...at a slow stroll. The apartment is a 25 minute walk, which still isn't bad, but a quite run back and forth will be missed. Other than that I'm enjoying my Slingbox and can't wait to watch this week of Oprah's final shows. Now I just have to wait for my summer shows to begin and then the Slingbox will be worth its weight in gold! True Blood, SYTYCD, Separated at Birth (a new and yet unproven show, but looking forward to it)!

Leaving them behind

2011-05-21T14:46:00.002-04:00

No, this is not about the rapture...

I'm going to be away from Z for 8 weeks. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It will only be for 46 days factoring in the week they are coming to visit me. This transition week has been particularly hard because I have been giving Liam a chance to primary parent. He has been doing many feedings, getting up at night, and I've kind of been trying to keep my distance to help the transition be a bit smoother. I worry most about the consistency interruption. Although she has been away from Liam for a month here or there, I've been the constant. Now, I'll be gone. Hoping to not breakdown into tears at the airport...

2L Over

2011-05-16T03:56:00.002-04:00

If you couldn't tell by the fact that I left the country (although not always an indicator that I don't have class) 2L is finished. I couldn't even begin to compare 1L and 2L so I won't even try. But I guess this is the time of year where everyone does their school year wrap up, so here it goes.

Completed Fall semester pregnant, delivered a baby and took all my exams with only a slight delay
Participated in zero extracurricular events
Completed Spring semester with an infant, while traveling 3 hrs to and from school (thank god for awesome family members for babysitting)
Managed to secure a summer job (not in the location where I want to be after graduation, but you can't win always get what you want)

I can't say that my academic life has been that amazing. I've just been getting it done. Papers, exams, whatever else, just get it done has been my mantra. There's been no time for lollygagging or other pussyfooting around. I would much rather spend my time baby talking with Z than sitting at my computer and not getting work done. I'm still on schedule to graduate on time and I'm at least a little amazed. Looking back I'm glad I didn't take this semester off. I am only saying that now because it's over and the thought of not graduating until 2013 would make me want to cry. With only 26 credits left and more control over my schedule I should be able to have a much more smooth sailing 3L. I am certainly looking forward to it!

23 Hours of Travel

2011-05-15T02:07:00.002-04:00

All I have to say is Z is an amazing traveler. She is great, sleeps loads, barely cries, smiles at everyone and is just a pleasure. Tons of people always tells me how great she is after every flight. After this past flight, I couldn't be any happier about that. It made my near breakdown at JFK and Heathrow more manageable.

My flight into JFK was 1.5 hours late. This changed my 2.5 hr layover a bit tighter. And my flight was leaving from a different terminal. I knew I was in trouble when changing terminals and I had to go outside. In transfer terms OUTSIDE is as bad as it can get because you have to go through security again. As I entered the check in area of the terminal, I know, it's like I came in from the freaking parking lot, and I head them announcing our names for final call I really lost it. I'm wearing a huge backpack, pushing a stroller and bawling. I explained to security that I didn't think I would make it. They were amazing. They helped my get all of my shit onto the belts, go through the metal detectors and even had an elevator waiting to get me to my gate. I was running with my 30lb backpack and made it by the skin of our teeth. We settled in, had an extra seat and enjoyed the flight...until we go to Heathrow...

Where my 1.5 hr layover with British Air turned out to not be anywhere near as long as we needed. Please tell me what the point of having your own terminal for your airline is when you have to go through security AGAIN after you deplane. Needless to say I had to how down a few old ladies (after saying excuse me about 10 times, her husband telling her to move over and about 10 other people sprinting by) I may have clipped her with the stroller. She proceeded to look at me like I had just punched her in the head. I said sorry and took off running. As I got into the security line and asked the security corraller if she thought I would like my flight, she looked at my ticket and said "Probably not." and then walked the F*CK away. That's it. No help, no moving to the front of the line, nothing. Just a, "Doesn't look good." She managed to reiterate that sentiment about 10 min later while I was still in line with a, "You're not going to make it, but you can try." Well thanks for your f*cking support. Oh there were so many names I wanted to call her.

That said, once I got to the actual conveyor belt they were nice and let me wheel the stroller through where the wheelchairs go instead of breaking down the whole thing and putting it through the xray. I was off running again and of course the gate was the LAST one in the terminal. I ran there and found that I was one of 7 people in line although the boards had also said "Gate Closing." They wouldn't take my stroller on board like they would from JFK because they said they were at 100%. Ok whatever, I wouldn't need it to transit or anything. Then we walk on and the plane is half empty. 100% my eye, she was just being lazy and didn't want to lift my stroller onto the plane.

So we sit down I have the car seat all strapped in when the flight attendant tells me I can't use her car seat. WHAT?! She says BA requires a forward facing car seat. I tell her I just got off of a BA flight, where I used a rear-facing car seat. Why would you use a forward facing car seat, especially for an infant when every car seat/automobile manufacturer requires rear-facing. We would all be safer if we could travel rear-facing. SO WHY IS MY BABY SUPPOSED TO FLY FORWARD FACING?!!!!!!! Then she said that I couldn't even use the seat for take off and landing because the straps had to go in under the bottom of the seat and not across the top (as with infant seats when you're using them without the base). So what do I have to do? Hold her on my lap. My lap is apparently a lot safer than a freaking car seat. So they gave me a great little seat belt for her, that would you know, stop her from flying across the cabin. They helpfully informed me that I could always put her in the seat once we were in the air, you know, not during the most dangerous time when flying, take off and landing. I was already near tears again because I thought I was going to miss this flight and now just when I've kind of calmed down I'm near tear again. The thing is there is no recourse once you're on the plane. If you don't listen to them you don't fly and get air marshalled off the plane. So needless to say I begrudgingly did as the requested thinking the whole time that this was like once of those authority social experiments where you got people to do something they knew was wrong just because someone in authority said to do it. Thankfully we made it just fine but I probably won't be flying BA again until Z can sit forward facing to avoid this issue again.

We have now been home for just over 12 hours and are so happy. Liam is getting used to Daddy duty again and will be taking over full time while I'm at my SA job this summer. It isn't ideal, but we're going to get through it. For right now, I'm looking forward to hanging out with Z, doing nothing school related and just being a family unit, even if it's just for a week. :( I can't wait for mid-July!!!

And it begins

2011-05-06T23:03:00.002-04:00

It seems that Z has decided to grow up a bit. Her newest trick...not letting me put her to sleep. She will only go to bed, if I lay her down on her stomach and leave the room. Of course, I'm keeping an eye on her through the open door and then flip her over once she's asleep, but I almost sort of teared up.

We went through out usual routine, bath, feed and then rocking. Except now my rocking leads her to trying to climb up me and pull off my glasses. So I did what I had done previously when I had things to do around the house and it was near bedtime. Usually she would still be awake and I would rock her for a bit before she went to sleep, well that era might be over. After fighting with her a bit I decided to lay her down and leave the room. She was asleep in 10 minutes. I know it seems like a great thing and it is, but I miss our cuddles, especially after being away all day taking an exam. (Oh yeah, on the school front, I had an exam today. It was a tax course and I was pleasantly surprised by how it went. I hope the pleasantness will continue once I get my grade.) Now I can see why women get baby fever, at least after the soreness, sleep deprivation, and fear of doing everything wrong wears off!

Finals fear is creeping in

2011-04-27T05:25:00.002-04:00

One paper to go and two finals and this year is over! The paper isn't anything to worry about and neither is one of my exams, but my international tax course is going to be interesting. The professor hasn't said anything about the exam. He only gave us a syllabus 3 classes into a 6 class short course. I'll be really interested and kind of terrified about what it might hold. My other paper is one on the impact of web 2.0 on negotiations. It's only 12 pages, so I can hammer that out since my outline is finally finished. All in all we're just gearing up for the summer.

Liam is taking care of Z for 8 weeks while I'm working. This means we have to get him and her fully acclimated to each other after 6 weeks apart. She'll need to take the bottle from him, let him shhhh her to sleep, and just getting a general schedule down. He's really worried about it and I'm worried that he's worried, but I think we'll get it done. I think the hardest thing for him will be sleep. I can get by on 4 hours, and then a couple of hours here or there. If he doesn't get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep he gets a bit moany. I guess this will be a re-education in sleeping like a college student pulling an all-nighter.

5 weeks of seperation

2011-04-21T06:59:00.003-04:00

That is the longest our little family unit will ever be separated from now until graduation! Ten weeks is the longest we have had to be apart and 2 weeks the shorted. Ten weeks sucks big time, but we won't have to do it anymore. The general amount of time apart is at 3 weeks-3.5 weeks and after 2 years that seems a hell of a lot more manageable. I actually took out a little extra in loans to help pay for flights. It's a bit harder with a baby now. For flights over 7 hours she needs her own seat. And the "child's discount" on airfare is a joke. So Z is going to have tons of travel experience and hopefully become an awesome traveler/flyer so I don't go insane on the planes. We fly tonight and are going to visit Liam in Ireland. We're so excited and I can't wait. I wish most international flights weren't at night. It's taking so long to get there!

Liam and his dad are flying in together just an hour before Z and I arrive. They have the same connection in Adu Dhabi. His father is coming back from a golfing holiday with Liam's friends in Thailand. There was a set of older gents (60+), regular gents (40s) and the youngins (30-40). I can't wait to hear all the stories, but Liam has already said that he told the boys not to tell him about the trip b/c he would tell me b/c he can't keep anything from me. I think it's all a rouse and I'll get all the juicy details out of him!

Finals are right around the corner. I only have 2, which is so nice. I just have 2 short papers to complete and then I'm DONE! Well until summer classes begin...should be interesting to say the least. I'm looking forward to the tax class because I actually liked my Tax course last semester. It will help take the pressure off of me next school year, which is much appreciated. Registration is also happening. I always loved when the course schedule was released in undergrad, it's just a fun now! I'm looking to have all of my classes one day/wk in the fall. I will have class from 9am-10pm, but I only have to do it 11 times. I'm looking forward to it! Then there is only one semester to go. It's all so close...

Being a Mom is weird

2011-04-19T08:07:00.003-04:00

It still feels really weird to be a mom. I still can't believe it and feel like I am possibly on the longest babysitting job ever. It's not that I don't love Z with all of my heart, would attack anyone like a crazy person given crazy pills if they tried to do anything to her. I look at her little face while she's asleep and think she is just the most adorable thing ever, but it still doesn't feel real sometimes. I think part of it stems from the fact that I am the oldest of a crap load of grandchildren, have often been the designated family babysitter and taking care of a 4 month old can kind of be a little boring.

Don't get my wrong, she's the cutest thing ever, but still pretty boring. Things are getting more interesting. She's starting to discover the world around her and I love to see her face when we go somewhere new, but I'm looking forward to talking. And I know once she starts talking I'll be willing her to shut it up after a hours of chatting my ear off. But I can't wait to hear her little voice and all the thoughts that come with it. I'm starting to feel like I'm not running triage as much. She's getting bigger everyday and I can imagine that the first time I hear "mama" I might just cry!

Hunger Games

2011-04-14T22:24:00.003-04:00

I know I shouldn't have time for things like this, but you think I'm going to read a treaties at 3am while feeding Z. Get real!

Hunger Games is the story of the world post-some unknown calamity where the all-powerful capital of a 12-District-based-former-US society, forces a boy and a girl from each district to fight to the death each year in the...ta-da Hunger Games. I started with the first book on my Kindle app on my ipod touch. I chewed through the trilogy in about a week. It's a lot of sleepless nights I know. It's a young adult series, but I found it compelling. Plus it's a little bloody for youngins. Thank goodness I could buy it online and not have to go to a bookstore and pretend I'm looking for it for my younger sisters (like I usually do for my junk food books :P)

The characters are kickass! I only wish I have the ridiculous survival and archery skills of the main protagonist Katniss. They are turning it into a movie and I hope they don't screw it up. It's so much better than Twilight (although I read all of those too), in that Katniss is strong, while conflicted about two strong men in her life, doesn't let this rule her life and she's not afraid to take everything into her own hands. Wish there were more books and I might start re-reading them when Z wakes up tonight.

Things are beginning to not make my head explode

2011-04-10T22:33:00.003-04:00

The crazy on the train everyday ridiculousness that was my life for the past month is finally over. I'm so relieved. I'm tired of lugging all of my crap around, being away from Z and just generally being tired pretty much 24/7. Tonight I will lay down and not have to get up at 5:30, 6:30 or gasp the latest I have been able to wake up for a long while, 7:30. I can actually sleep as late as I want before going to lunch with my aunt. Now it's time to work on my papers, put together a PowerPoint presentation on a super exciting international tax course, and study for my exams. On that note, I'm going to finish watching a horrible movie on ABC Family and go to bed.

Izzie Out!

Starting to Panic

2011-04-02T14:06:00.004-04:00

At least a little bit...with 2L coming to a close in a little over a month it's starting to get real. Really, real and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Yes, I have a summer position at a big firm, but I don't know if that is what I want to do. I'll see how it goes, once I find housing that isn't in a seriously skanky part of town, figure out childcare or have my grandmother come with us. The idea of spending 60 hours a week at work is not desirable for me or my family. We have one baby, but plan on at least a couple more before Liam gets much older. This is the trade off of marrying someone older and I wouldn't have it any other way. I would also like to be finished child bearing by my next -0 birthday. This means kids in short order in a short amount of time.

Being in the office until 10pm every night isn't really conducive to that or to family life in general, for us. If I could find an office that would allow working for home and some flexibility I would think about it. Now that the realness is beginning to hit, different options are starting to come to the surface. Or at least I'm trying to make them options.

I could go back to working at a university. The only problem is that many positions I would be looking for require masters degrees. Do I want to get a masters? Not really. Might I have to get one? Possibly. Once I start actually actively searching for jobs, I'll have to see if the JD would satisfy the criteria.

I could try to get a job at a large multinational as in-house counsel. I don't know what the possibility of getting a job would be right out of school, but I have friends, friends of friends, and even further out checking for me. I'll start off as low as I can go because this company would be big into growing my potential, paying for any other education and professional development, which would be nice.

The other option I have only recently thought of would be teaching. I don't know what I would need other than my JD to teach undergrad, but I think it would be an excellent option. But I'm not sure how conducive academia would be with family life, since the majority of my female professors were unmarried and if married, without children. Not sure it it was causation or correlation on that one. But the idea of getting a PhD is laughable. There is no freaking way it would happen, so that might count me out.

These are the options running through my mind. None seem particularly attainable right now, but I'm looking into distance learning masters degrees that might work. I'm also trying to find something that will keep me from feeling like I've dug my family into a seriously ridiculous financial hole!

All in all the semester is shaping up ok. I'm on top of my work and trying to get ready for finals. I'm not too worried or I just have enough other stuff to worry about that I don't have more room to worry. This doubt will pass once I have my diploma...I hope.

Phew

2011-03-29T20:12:00.002-04:00

Z is just fine now. The doctor thinks maybe it was allergies, but I'm just glad it was nothing serious. First scary illness-related parenting experience averted. A little children's benadryl and she's right as rain. I'm just glad she kept her sunny disposition through it all. At least I'll be able to tell when something is really wrong once that goes away.

As the semester is starting to wind down, I can't believe how much has been going on. I'm certainly looking forward to a great first Easter with Z. We already have her dress and bows for her hair picked out. It's going to make for some great pictures. Liam can't wait to see us both and we can't wait to see him. Thank goodness for skype. He certainly doesn't get to see us as much as we would like even with skype. Babies and sitting in front of a computer for more than 10 mins really doesn't work very well. Right now, between preparing for exams and my internship I'm trying to get ready for the summer. I'm a little nervous about working at a big firm, in a big office, in a different country, but I guess that was the plan all along anyway. Apartment hunting, daycare/childcare hunting are not that easy from abroad.

Back to the trenches or I might just take a snooze. Decisions, Decisions!

And now she is sick

2011-03-27T22:39:00.002-04:00

Dealing with my first bout of kiddie sickness. Z is sick. :( Coughing and a stuffy nose. Thank goodness for nasal aspirators! She has been dealing with it ok, but we are going to the doctor tomorrow. The health insurance hasn't come through yet, so it will be coming out of pocket. I'm hoping it isn't too damaging.

Prior to the sickness, I spent my first night away from Z. I had a class schedule change that required me to be on campus until late, so I just stayed there. It was weird. I missed her and woke up about 5 times during the night looking for her. I did capitalize on my time away and had a few margaritas out at dinner with a friend. That was nice, to not have to keep track of my drinking times to figure out when I'm no longer all full of booze! Not that I have had more than a couple of glasses of wine in the past year.

The semester is getting closer to the end and while I'm overwhelmed at least I'm not behind. So far I have been keeping up and I am still ahead in most of my classes. I just need to keep it together for 6 more weeks and then I can put this whole ridiculous semester behind me.

Dealing with Stress and other Sucky Things

2011-03-23T22:01:00.003-04:00

I've been incommunicado for a bit and will probably not be posting as much for a bit. Things were going swimmingly, but now the crazy has started. Between almost every babysitter I have tried to arrange, having someone in their family pass away, getting unbelievably sick, getting the other babysitting alternatives to the alternative sick, I'm pretty much batting 1000 when it comes to focusing on my school work. As I said before, I should have taken this semester off. I might just resort to sitting outside of the classroom with Z. Not sure how great things will turn out, but at least she hasn't gotten any of the sick that has been floating around and neither have I, knock on wood. The travel that I thought wouldn't be such a big deal is really sucking. I can spend 4 hours each way to only go to class for 3 hours. Those days are no fun because I only get to see Z for an hour or so and that time is spent trying to get her to sleep.

It is unfortunate that I am having such a hard time getting to school because this appears to be one of my most interesting semesters. I'm praying that my GPA won't go down, I'll make it through without crying too many times and I'll be one year closer to my puffy graduation hat.

Edit: I haven't been able to arrange for daycare of any sort because Liam and I are still sorting out healthcare/insurance issues. And without a doctor's visit and records from a U.S. doctor there is no shot of getting Z enrolled in daycare. Also, they won't take her for only 3 days and need more than a 2 month commitment. Doesn't help me at all.

Jet Lag Like a MoFo

2011-03-13T20:34:00.003-04:00

At least Z seems to be adjusting quite well by now. We have been back for a few days and she is finally back on some type of schedule. We had a 10 hour night last night and I was so thankful. I didn't even put her to sleep. My mother had to do it while I went down for a "nap" at 7. I was so tired after seeing Battle: Los Angeles with my sister that I could barely see straight when driving back to her house. Needing to stand throughout the entire movie by the exit didn't help my fatigue. At least she was quite and I got to see the movie, so I can't complain too much.

I finally broke down and asked my mom to hold her for a bit while I napped, so I didn't just keel over. She went to sleep at about 7:30 or so, I vaguely remember Z being brought into the room and she didn't wake until 1:30am and then was back to sleep after a quick snack until 6am! It was great for me. I even had some time from about 4-6am to do a little reading for class.

I'm actually almost done with the reading I have for this semester because some of my profs still haven't given out all of the reading assignments. It's a bit annoying as I feel like I could be more productive and get ahead, but there are worse things that could happen. All in all the semester is shaping up a lot better than I thought it would and my freak out earlier in the semester about wishing I had taken time off is wearing off. Sleep can really change a person's tune. I will never take a good night's rest for granted again.

Well that sucks

2011-03-04T22:44:00.002-05:00

I just received an email from my professor of the big paper class asking me when I'm going to turn in my paper. When!!!???!!! I turned it in over 2 weeks ago to the registrar. I quickly emailed back and let me know that and sent the confirmation from the registrar that I turned it in. Talk about a lose your breath moment! This paper was huge and the grade is due in any moment now. For the past week or so, I have been obsessively checking for the grade and now I know why it's been taking so long. It also introduces that fear all over again. The fear that the paper I turned in will make the professor laugh about how they can't believe I could write something so stupid and insipid and they are recommending to the dean that I be kicked out of school. Or something along those lines. Talk about anxiety. At least I had all of my bases covered as far as turning in the paper. I had a confirmation and the time stamp on the paper correlates to the one for when I last accessed the exam. Now the waiting begins all over again. It could be worse.

Building a Budget

2011-03-04T01:09:00.002-05:00

One of the hardest things about being in law school is the severe lack of funds. Thankfully, I'm only taking out loans for tuition. My lovely husband has, of course, agreed to support me while I'm in school. Even now a little over a year and a half in, it's really hard to deal with not bringing in any money. I've had a job since I was 16. I had 2 jobs for a large part of my time in college. I guess it's not so bad to have a bit of time off from a real job because I'll have more than enough time to work for the next 40 years of my life.

But, the inability to contribute is no fun at all, especially when we are trying to not completely devour Liam's paycheck every month. The savings fund is still being added to monthly, albeit in much tinier contributions, so we're not as bad off as we could be. I think that's the biggest blow for me. I always had a large chunk of change in savings. When I was growing up my family had to buy me gift certificates because they knew if I was given money I would just save it. I can't wait to start working, just so we can really start saving. At times I think my obsession with budgets, cash flow, and coupons is a bit unhealthy. Then again, there are worse obsessions to have like TIGERBLOOD!

Chugging Right Along

2011-02-27T04:05:00.003-05:00

In comparison to last year, this year is downright boring. I'm baking again, while Z sleeps, completing my reading, and getting ready for the onslaught at the end of the semester. I think that perhaps the indescribable craziness that was the first 6 weeks of Z's life has put a lot into perspective and made a lot of things seem a bit easier. I'm not looking forward to my two weekend classes coming up next month, but I'm going to have my grandmom come to the City with me to watch Z. This stops my separation anxiety from going into overdrive and gets her out of the house. So far, my life has been baby time and reading. It has also been preparing for my eventual return to my hubby.

Over there getting a job isn't just about a call for references, it's about police clearances, diploma certification, medical testing, and all kinds of fun things like that. The good thing is I can get a head start on all of this while I'm in the U.S. It is amazing how different countries care about totally different things. In the States, the transcript is all that matters, your diploma is just a pretty piece of paper that you hang on your wall. Over there, diploma is it. No one cares about your transcript, they want that huge oddly sized document written in Latin that you have to dig out of your mom's basement or in my case order a replacement. Getting my law degree certified will be a lot easier than my undergrad diploma for the simple reason that I'll know where it is!

Then I had the added decision of changing my name. I haven't legally changed my name after I got married. I planned on doing it, but travel plans made it impossible because of the need for tickets and passports to have the exact same name. My law school will only issue the diploma in the name at graduation, so if I changed it after graduation there would be the whole process of proving that I am the person who earned it. Does anyone out there go by one name at work and another at home? How does that actually work? Do all of your documents have one name and you just have people call you your married name or do you have a mixture of documents with both names?

Long Weekend!!

2011-02-20T10:29:00.002-05:00

It's so great to get to a Sunday and realize that tomorrow is not a school day. It's almost as good as a snow day. Z is getting bigger and bigger everyday. You can get her to smile at just about anything. If she's crying and you smile at her, she will stop crying long enough to smile back. Such a little sweetie! I'm not looking forward to starting my internship in 2 weeks for the simple reason that I will have to be away from her for more than 8 hrs a day.

As far as school goes, I'm ahead in my reading by a few weeks and starting to form an outline. It seems that having a baby while in school might make me less of a procrastinator. It could also be that things are more interesting this semester.

Random topic: I can't stop making crepes. Breakfast lunch and dinner. Egg, cheese, bacon for breakfast; turkey and cheese for lunch; chicken, tomato, cheese, lettuce for dinner and nutella for dessert.

An offer rolls in

2011-02-13T01:53:00.002-05:00

So it looks like I'll be in Germany this summer and into the fall. I'll be working for a large firm there and studying abroad in the fall. Getting the job at the firm was a pretty big shock. They have offices all over and hopefully this will lead to something after graduation. Even if I don't end up working for this having the name on my resume will certainly help. This has reinvigorated me about this whole school thing. :D I was certainly starting to feel a bit down about the job situation and whether or not I was putting my family through unnecessary stress for no reason.

I'm a little worried about leaving Z for long periods of time, but that's going to be the way it is. She wakes up between 6 and 7 and goes to bed at 9 or 10. If I'm working the usual hours then I might not be getting home until 8 or 9 meaning I'm only going to be seeing her a couple hours a day. We're trying to convince my grandmother to come over and stay with me for at least half the time I'll be there. Liam will come over for a couple of weeks and then we'll be able to find a babysitter. Once I'm in school there, she can enroll in the university daycare. I still can't believe that I'm more than halfway through school. Next year feels like it is going to fly by. This semester I only have 2 finals, and 2 papers to get through. This feels doable, now I must finish the second draft of my paper, T-48 hours and counting!

Confined to the recliner

2011-02-06T09:56:00.002-05:00

Out of nowhere I'm laid up with some crazy back issues. One second I'm cleaning shrimp over the sink the next I'm kneeling on the ground in front of the sofa trying to entertain Z b/c I can't hold her. I just prayed she would go to sleep, which she did. Then I cried, crawled to the kitchen to get some Mortin and laid down on the sofa. This is going to be the motivation I needed to get up from bed and to the night feed in the rocking chair. I'm generally hunched over while sitting on the bed, well that's not going to work anymore. Here's to hoping for another 6-7 hours of sleeping tonight for the little one, so I can rest. The good thing about being stuck in the chair is that I am forced to work on the re-writes of my paper. Trying to look at the upside here. Gotta love hot water bottles and rice in a sock heated up in a microwave!

Finished my paper!!!

2011-02-03T07:52:00.002-05:00

I just finished my paper, saved it, saved it to an external hard drive and then emailed it to myself. No taking chances with that one. I'm taking the rest of the day off and I'll being proofreading tomorrow. If all goes to plan this first draft will be turned in by Friday night. Hopefully I'll get my feedback by Monday and I'll have a full week to work on the second draft. I may even treat myself to a drink tonight. What a relief!! It's not as long as it could be, but it meets the requirements and I'm sure I'll be adding some things in during my rewrites.

As a person who lives off of the energy of last minute deadlines (finished all of my final papers (20-30 pagers) during undergrad the night before they were due) I'm surprised I was able to pull it together. I actually had the best grades that semester, go figure. Glad that working on progress over a non-pressured amount of time worked out. Now I can focus on my reading for class and just hanging with Z without the pressure of AHHHHHH I HAVE A PAPER DUE!!

Cooing

2011-02-02T22:55:00.002-05:00

This morning Z entertained herself for a full 20 minutes by talking to her new mobile. I appreciated it for about 5 minutes before I got to work. I'm about 800 words from the end of my paper now. It's a slough, but I'm getting through. I'm glad Z is helping me out with getting it done. Let's hope that she'll nap for a nice long time today, so I can finish this whole thing up. Then it's time to proof tomorrow, turn in the first draft and wait for the changes and finish this whole thing up in a couple of weeks! After that I can really start to focus on my other classes. Things have certainly settled down from mid-January. No longer traipsing up and down the East Coast other than getting to and from school has helped a lot. I have to say that I'm getting a lot better at managing all of the things required for traveling with an infant. I can't believe some people don't leave the house until this point with their babies! Back to the paper, must complete this paper in the next 3 hours.

Getting Started

2011-01-30T18:22:00.002-05:00

I have finally started my paper. I'm halfway through it with about a week to go. I plan on finishing my first draft in the next 2 days. Once I got started things were much better than I thought. Thank god I picked an interesting topic. Class is good. The prof is a pretty chill guy who makes class go by pretty quickly. It's also a lot easier to listen to the playbacks to pick up on things I'm inevitably missing in class. After a few scares, I'm also completely and totally registered. A few surprises sprung up after add/drop was over, like the addition of course requirements that were never mentioned previously, but all problems solved. Now I get to start working at my internship and hopefully not screw it all up too much!

Ziggy is doing great. Still giving me 5-8 hours a night. I think I need to get into the routine thing some more. Playtime, bath, reading a book, bed seems like a good way to go. Does anyone out there have a baby developmental book or site to recommend. I know all babies are different and even after watching all of my cousins grow up you would think I would remember milestone dates, but I don't. When is the general time frame for rolling over, pushing her head up, etc. Speaking of milestones, she slept for her first night in the crib! I brought one side completely down, put it against the bed and slept right next to the side, but I'll take the small victory. Soon I'll edge the side of the crib up and move it further and further from the bed.

Relearning How to Study

2011-01-25T07:02:00.002-05:00

My previous method: go to the library for 3-8 hours take a lunch break and then go home and relax. That doesn't work anymore. I get maybe 3 hour chunks tops during the day to get anything done. This time includes, showering, eating, doing laundry, answering emails. There really isn't much time to study, write my papers etc as I have been used to. I'm going to have to rethink this whole thing to get myself back in the game. If I don't figure it out, then law school + baby isn't going to work. And let's just say I would much rather be reading Dr. Suess than international arbitration conventions!

People keep asking me how I'm doing it all. I honestly have no idea. I don't know if I'm doing it all particularly well, but I am doing the mommy-ing to the best of my ability and the rest can get what attention I have left over. Z is such an amazing little kid. She's all smiles during the day. Even when people call her a boy, even when she is dressed all in pink, wrapped in a pink blanket with a full head of adorable curls, she can't help but smile at them. Other than her little cries when she has gas or in the hour before she konks out for the night, her crying is at a minimum. She loves to babble at me and I talk right back. I could just stare at her for hours and I do sometimes. We just sit and stare at one another. I can't help but try to imagine what she's thinking about, how she's feeling being thrown into this crazy world and what a huge responsibility Liam and I share in giving her all the best we can. I still don't think I feel like a mom. I'm not sure what feeling like a mom is supposed to feel like. Enough of all of that and back to writing this paper because I really don't think I could crank out 30 pages overnight like I used to!

Ugh

2011-01-24T05:14:00.003-05:00

Grades in and classes I thought I did well in I BOMBED and the classes that I thought I sucked at were just fine. WTF?! This is seriously depressing and makes me want to just pack up this semester. I can't at this point, but I sure wish I could. And things just seemed to be going so much better. The initial craziness of the semester is over. Z is sleeping for 6-8 hours at night and we've hit a rhythm.

I found an internship for the semester working for the local city council. It should be interesting and get me credit, so that's all I could really hope for. Other than the crushing blow of last semester, I still have a paper due. I need to complete it in the next week or so to get it back in time for a second draft due by Feb 15. I don't know when I will find the time, but I guess it will have to be done. I just really don't feel motivated now. Not one little bit.

Not Dead!

2011-01-21T15:48:00.002-05:00

I swear I'm not. Things have been pretty crazy. Between flying, taking the train, driving up and down the East Coast, finishing a short course, trying to secure an internship, and getting registered, I am surprised I know my own name. We have stayed at over 6 places in 2.5 weeks. It seems that Z has taken note of all of this non-baby related craziness and decided she will sleep for between 6-8 hours a night for the past week. Talk about a good kid!

I can't even begin to give a wrap up of the past 4 weeks! It would be incredibly long and drawn out. That said, the rest of the semester will be me figuring out just how I'm doing to be getting to and from school. I don't know if bringing Z with me to school and having someone stay with her for the 2 hours or so I have class per day or leave her with family and be away from her for 10 hours/day. If I take the train, we would be apart for 8 hours. It's still a lot to deal with. The longest I have been away from her is for the 2 hours Liam and I went to see The King's Speech (awesome movie btw). I still can't believe I'm doing this. I keep thinking I should have taken the semester off, but then I know the danger of me continuing school would have dropped off a bit.

In addition to getting things sorted for this semester I am trying to figure out this summer. There are 3 firms I could work for in our town and one that would require me to live in another city for half of the week. Travel between the two cities would only be a 45 min $30 flight away. And since our weekends would be on different days Liam and I would be able to be together 4 days out of the week. The other plus with the flying job is they provide housing, so that wouldn't be an added expense to have to worry about. I'm almost glad there isn't any downtime because I think I would pass out.

I will be updating much more frequently now that all of the craziness will at least be on a schedule!

So many unfinished posts

2010-12-28T19:56:00.002-05:00

I have more draft posts from the last week than I have had since I started the blog. Z is so adorable that getting by on no sleep has been almost ok. We're planning a big Christmas/New Years dinner on Thursday because our Ritz brunch was a disappointment. They have let so many people RSVP for the brunch that they no longer seem to have room for the tons of food they had a couple of years ago. Food like mashed potatoes, stuffing, non-raw roast beef, and any type of sushi other than California rolls were all missing. At least there was plenty of champagne and the weather was nice.

In other news, I'm flying out 4 days ahead of Liam because every flight from the 3rd-12th is fully booked. This means I'm flying with Z ALONE for over 14 hours. I'm not looking forward to that. It also means that we have 4 fewer days to get her visa put into her passport, so she can leave the country. We applied for and have gotten everything as quickly as possible. Her birth certificate took a week from our date of discharge, the passport took 2 weeks and we have no idea how long the visa will take. If it isn't done by the 3rd we have no idea what we will do. Do I fly and leave Z with Liam for 4 days? Do we just cancel the trip? No idea, but we're hoping for the best! This does mean 4 more days with my family before Liam arrives, so that takes a bit of the rush out of our travels. Z's getting her first passport stamp, which is exciting. Poor kid has some pretty freaky travel paper photos. Between the visa pic and the passport one it's like a freaky face melted baby has replaced Z for all pictures. It's really freaking hard to get a baby to stare into the camera and photoshopping out Liam's hands just makes them look all the freakier. These will certainly come in handy once she gets older!

Getting back to "normal"

2010-12-21T05:44:00.007-05:00

Not that I know what that is now. I'm typing this with Z strapped into the baby bjorn. I'm much better at touch typing than I thought I was. After a bit of an overwhelmingly tiring few days culminating in me, laying next to Liam while Z whined in the Pack N Play, crying, Z had a great night. Liam took her for a walk and fed her, which gave me a chance to get more than 1.5 hours of sleep. I got 3 hours and then Z had a nice long sleep at night. She slept for 4 hours straight last night, which was amazing! And then she took a 3 hour nap during the day. Other than waking up soaking through my shirts, pillows and sheets, I can't really complain. I would rather wake up leaking than not wake up because I haven't been able to sleep for 2 days.

With Z safely in the Bjorn I decided to get back to "normal." This included, laundry, washing up a few dishes and baking! I just made brownies from the box, but it's the first baking I've done since she has been born. I think she enjoyed it. Her sleeping while I worked away was my interpretation of her loving it.

On a less exciting note, Z is going to be vaccinated today. I'm not looking forward to it. All of those people against vaccines always seemed crazy to me. I'm not against the vaccines because I think they are going to be harmful to her, it's just that the thought of her getting an injection makes me sad. I know the vaccines will protect her from a lot of horrible diseases, but I have to say I might cry. There is also the scary TB vaccine she has to get, which will leave a scar. Since we live in a TB zone it's one that you don't usually have to get in the States. Liam and I were a little against it at first and then we went to drop my mom and grandmom off at the airport. Walking through the airport and knowing that a huge portion of the people had probably not been vaccinated against many common ailments sent us running. Getting on a plane in a few weeks has hardened our resolve. I'll just have to grit my teeth and bear it. At least she won't remember it. :'(

Exams are over!!

2010-12-16T13:37:00.003-05:00

I didn't think this day would come, but I finished my exams! So many people didn't know how I could do it and honestly, at times I wasn't sure how I was going to do it. All I have to complete is my final paper. My professor has given me an extension, so it's not due for another month or so. I plan on finishing it earlier, but I'm glad that I don't have to worry about rushing through it.

My exams actually went a lot better than I thought they would. There were a couple of questions that stumped me, but I had pushed through and feel I did well enough on the rest of them to think I might have actually pulled off a halfway decent grade. It might have also just been a sign that I missed every major point and I'll be very upset when I get my grades in Jan.

I still can't believe how much things have changed in just over 2 weeks. I'm sitting in bed, laptop propped up on the Boppy, laying next to my darling little girl and husband. It's really crazy to think that I'm a mom now. It still sounds weird. I'm a MOM!

Can you tell I had a baby?

2010-12-15T06:09:00.002-05:00

My posts have certainly been less frequent. I have an exam tomorrow and it's going to be a bloodbath. I mean it's going to be terrible and there isn't much I can do about it at this point. Thankfully I'm doing much better. Hives are long gone, soreness is mostly gone. I only need 4 mortin a day instead of 8. I know I won't mind Z being awake for all but 2 hours at night when I'm not trying to study throughout the day. But she's still so adorable. I can't get over smelling her when she fall asleep on my chest.

I'm looking forward to the weekend when our adjusted sleep schedule is no longer in effect. Liam sleeps upstairs during the week and I'm downstairs on the bed we have down there. He comes down at 4 to give me a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep before he heads off to work at 6. It isn't ideal, but it seems I'm better able to function without as much sleep as Liam.

Christmas is just around the corner and I'm glad we put the tree up early. My mom and gran brought over some presents for us, which are pretty much the only ones under the tree. Liam keeps asking what kind of push present I would like and I keep telling him nothing. It has to be hard to shop for me because I really don't want anything. Maybe some iTunes giftcards. I don't wear jewelry, like shopping, or have any other kinds of likes that are easy to shop for. Liam has a couple of things from me for Christmas as he's a bit easier to read. If it has something to do with photography or cooking, he's all for it. Both of those are checked off. I don't need anything, especially this year. Well maybe a magic pill to get Z to sleep during the night. Other than that, my aversion to clutter keeps me from wanting more things. I'm most looking forward to watching Tron, having a cider, and going to Christmas brunch.

Recovery

2010-12-09T08:07:00.002-05:00

Isn't going as well as I hoped. I'm still going to be taking my exams next week, but it's going to be a sh*tshow. I don't know if I'm overdoing it or what, but it seems that what little energy I was running on is slowly falling apart. Covered in hives, unable to sit for long periods or time, nausea and dizziness is the name of the game now. I have been banished to bed by Liam and pumping as much as I can to keep Z happy. At least I don't have a fever or anything like that...yet. I'm planning on not leaving the house except for my exams until Christmas, or at least until I'm feeling at least 95%. Unfortunately my mom and grandmom leave tomorrow, just as I start really heading downhill. Of course! Going to go back to sleep and try to absorb my course information via osmosis. I don't have any hopes for this semester, passing is all that I'm shooting for. Oy.

A picture

2010-12-08T01:32:00.004-05:00

(picture self destructed!)

Here is a long awaited pic of the little one on her birthday! If only she slept this peacefully at night. Trying to juggle studying, feeding her, feeding me, changing her and getting in a shower every once in a while. Talk about exhausting, but she's too cute for words!!

She has arrived!

2010-12-03T01:17:00.001-05:00

The full birth post will be a bit longer, but she, yes SHE has finally arrived. We're just home from the hospital and it has been a whirlwind past 4 days. Zigs is doing well. She came in at about 6.5 lbs, so the doctor who told us she was going to be HUGE was full of it. She's adorable and so tiny. It's hard to remember how tiny they are in the beginning. I learned a number of things from this experience so far:

1) Nurses who tell you that the contractions you're having aren't really that bad, while you're shaking and trying to concentrate on breathing are a**holes!

2) Anesthesiologists are amazing, amazing, amazing people and any fear of an epidural goes away once you're in the thick of it

3) Functioning on 40 min-1.5 hour chunks of sleep over multiple days is possible and will continue for quite some time.

Lots to be thankful for

2010-11-25T14:47:00.003-05:00

Today is the first Thanksgiving I'm not celebrating or preparing to celebrate tomorrow. We will be celebrating next Thursday once my mom and grandmom arrive. It was really weird to not wake up with the house smelling of cooking food, watching the parade and calling around to see what time everyone is coming over. Liam and I did Thanksgiving in Dublin last year for his family. We celebrated on Friday, so everyone would be able to make it. It was our first one together and it was also the last time that the entire family was together before Liam's mom passed away. The day was a little emotional for us both because of that.

I rang up my family and wished them all a Happy Turkey Day. My grandmother was cooking away and my mom was trying to avoid her while making the only thing she can, deviled eggs. They are both very excited to be coming and trying to get all the last minute things together. I'm still hoping for an arrival before they get here, but that is looking less and less likely. That said, I think I'm having a few contractions here and there, but nothing steady. It's been happening for the past 24 hours. A lot of pressure and a bit of pain every so often accompanied by my stomach becoming like a rock. I haven't told Liam yet because he would start to worry or certainly jump up to start the car every time I moved a muscle. Here's to hoping this kid makes his/her arrival in the next day or so. It would be very nice to greet my mom and gran with their granddaughter/great granddaughter on Saturday!

Sweet Party

2010-11-20T01:52:00.003-05:00

Our wine and cheese party was quite a success and thankfully over by midnight. The parties of our other neighbors have been known to go on until the wee hours of the morning, i.e. 6am. The stinky cheese was thrown out and the still yummy cheese is safely ziplocked in our fridge. One of the great things about having a party is the pre-party cleaning. The house looks great now. It also helped that everyone was outside because they all smoke. Such a bummer, but staying downwind is a specialty of mine. That and the fact that everyone is pretty good about making sure I'm not in their direct line of smoking fire. It should be interesting once the baby arrives and these smokers are told to air out and wash up before coming over.

I enjoyed some yummy sparkling apple cider and water from my most amazing water bottle. Liam is constantly trying to steal it from me. I bought it because I really like the Camelbak brand and the bottle just seemed more durable. But I certainly feel like I drink way way way more water from this water bottle than any other water bottle I've ever had. Maybe it's just more fun because you have to bit the valve to get anything out of it. Who knows, but it's keeping me hydrated!

The fbook, gchat messages, and emails asking if the baby has arrived are starting to arrive. Being out of the country gives me the advantage of not having people call, so I can be selective in my responses. That said, I don't know why people think I wouldn't post an update on fbook/Liam post on his/send out an email when s/he arrives. We're not going to keep the baby's arrival a secret!

Listening to Classes

2010-11-19T07:02:00.004-05:00

I have to say I'm much better at taking notes on my classes when I'm just listening to the class recordings as opposed to being in class. I have no idea why, but hopefully it will help me. Everyone else in the compound is BBQing and playing in the pool and I'm at home listening to lectures. Sadface, but it's for a good cause! Liam hasn't abandoned me, he's out power washing the front of the house.

We're having people over for wine and cheese tonight. This means cleaning on top of studying. Last night we went out to a great Belgian restaurant with a bunch of our friends. Other than the smokey environment it was a very nice night. I even splurged and got dessert (delicious Belgian waffle w/ ice cream and chocolate syrup). I also had a glass of wine, which was divine. I do miss wine. We still have our celebratory bottles of champagne waiting for the baby to arrive. It's the same type we had on our wedding day! The baby may not want to make an appearance, but I'm sure going to enjoy these little things. After dinner, we all went to our neighbors, talked, ate chocolate, chips, and hung out until 1am or so. It was a chill night and though I paid for it at about 4am when the heartburn kicked in, it was so worth it.

My mother and grandmother will be arriving in a week or so and that's exciting. While I'm hoping I'll be driving with Liam to the airport to pick them up with our new little bundle, I'm making peace with the fact that this may not happen. My aunt had a C-section yesterday and had a healthy little girl. My uncle only posted 2 pictures on fbook, but I'm hoping he'll post more. Everyone is having babies!

Guest Post: Liam's Critique of (500) Days of Summer

2010-11-16T11:25:00.005-05:00

Since Liam doesn't have a blog of his own and he just needed to get this out, I'm allowing him a guest post movie review. He gets a bit worked up about this movie, but I still love him! I give the floor to him:

(500) Days of Summer... Seen it 3 Times with Izzie,-Rented it off iTunes, once on the plane back from the States and now again on the TV. Great Actors, Amazing Soundtrack, but one thing bugs me, i F@#king hate the character of Summer!!! And in particular one scene in the movie, makes me want to drown a kitten . So here goes, what is with Summer (Zoey Deschanel- Loved hr in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...) inviting Tom(Joesph Gordon Levitt- Excellent in the dance sequence, he hit the whole "next day" ) around to a party at her place the following weekend after dancing with him at the wedding and falling sleep on his shoulder.

He turns up thinking that the sparkle will be rekindled and BOOM!!! It is her engagement party!! Totally out of order!! She is there with the man she loves, a concept that she told Tom does not exist Actually an evil move on her behalf. did he deserve it? Hell he didn't, but, like always thinking of herself, she didn't give one thought of his feelings in the whole relationship. He loved her, a blindman could see it, she lured him in like a Black Widow to a fly on the train up to the wedding and at the wedding itself. Now, I have been told, on some occasion I don't think of other peoples felings, and upon reflection, correct. But we are talking about, in my case, not supersizing a CheeseBurger meal Fries' and Coke.

Summer didn't think inviting her ex along to her engagement party would not cause an issue? She a Mentalist? a bottle short of a six-pack? you just don't do sh*t like that.....
Finally, there is the scene at the end when he is sitting on his favorite Parkbench, reflecting on Life, Summer robs his coolplace to hang out. Summer splits with him, does the "friends" line, lures him as mentioned above, then not satisfied with ripping his Heart out, robs his spot....

Venting over. Back to watching The Simpsons with Italian subtitles...

P.S. I would never hurt a kitten...

A wee bit of a scare

2010-11-16T00:14:00.003-05:00

I'll preface the story with an everything is fine. We went to the hospital yesterday afternoon because I hadn't felt the baby move for a long time during the day. I had eaten, drank something cold, rocked on my fitness ball and everything. I was getting nothing after laying down on my left side, giving the baby a few pokes and having Liam talk to my belly. Usually any of these three is enough to get a bit of a reaction and still nothing. Once tears started rolling down my cheeks, Liam said that's it, we're going to the ER. I just followed along, trying not to think of anything bad. What really freaked me out was the night before we had gone for a long walk, maybe a mile or so. We came home, ate dinner, watched tv and then went to bed. One I was laying down the baby had a serious movement extravaganza that woke Liam up at one point. We were both laughing about it at the time, but on the drive to the hospital all I was thinking was one thing and I can't even bring myself to type it.

We arrived at the ER and they told us to go to the OBGYN clinic b/c they were still open. They are closed for the rest of the week starting today for Eid. We told them what was going on, they brought me in, took my blood pressure (which was sky high I'm sure), had Liam fill out paperwork and strapped me to the fetal heart monitor. The second she found the heartbeat, I couldn't stop myself from letting a few tears out. I had been so so so worried. Liam was so calm cool and collected. Once we heard it, we both just listened and didn't even talk for a good 15 min. It was actually the best monitoring we've ever gotten. Usually the baby is asleep the whole time and they make me eat or drink something to get the baby going. Not this time, the heart rate showed the baby awake, it also showed me that all this can happen without the baby moving. We went in to meet with the doctor. She said everything looked good, the baby had moved a lot further down in my pelvis, no dilation, but softening, and the walking probably tired the baby out. Talk about being relieved!

We have to head to the ER (b/c the OB clinic is closed) for monitoring today and then meet with her again on Saturday. She then casually mentions that we could be induced on Saturday if I felt like it. I think I probably looked a lot more freaked out when I first walked in than I thought and she doesn't want me stressing out. Now that I know things are fine, the baby has less room to move and isn't showing any signed of distress I'm so much more calm. While I have been saying that I want to have this baby, you know yesterday, I don't think I want to go the induction route. After calming down, knowing that the baby is ok and being able to think it over, we're going to try and wait this thing out naturally. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. I'm sure it only gets worse once they arrive, but we're all happy and healthy for now. Well not Liam, after his calm cool and collectedness was no longer needed, he had a crazy adrenaline crash, followed by a stuffy nose and a little cough. Looks like I'll be taking care of my big baby until our little one arrives!

This needs to happen sooner rather than later

2010-11-14T10:48:00.003-05:00

I didn't think it would happen, but I'm over it. I'm over being pregnant. The baby is full term, progressing right on schedule. I know that s/he will be fine. I just want him/her to get out! In addition to heartburn, you can add nausea and insomnia to the mix. I know the whole no sleep thing will be just as bad once the baby gets here, but at least there will be a baby to look at and feed/change/play with/sleep outside of my body. Liam has taken to bringing me 3am bowls of ice cream, as that seems to be the only thing that will keep the heartburn at bay in addition to my antacid pills and tums. I'm uncomfortable, getting up, rolling over, and standing up are all challenges and it may seem selfish, but I kind of want my body back. I know that breastfeeding won't exactly make me completely autonomous, but at least I'll be able to move around, not feel like every meal is a gastrointestinal challenge test. I know that my pregnancy has been relatively easy, there isn't much that I should be complaining about, but I'm certainly ready to meet the baby. My mother is taking a lot of pleasure in my questions about starting labour. I was only 4 days early (my mom's first) and my grandmom had my mom (her first) 11 days early. Here's hoping I follow in their footsteps and we will be meeting this baby soon. I am doubtful since I haven't had any Braxton-Hicks contractions that I have been able to feel. Can you tell that this is pretty much occupying my every waking moment? As for exams and all that, I'm chugging along, plodding is more like it, but making some progress.

Studying/Pregnancy Issues

2010-11-13T00:30:00.004-05:00

My first exam is a little under a month away. Of course all of this is up to Z's arrival, but that's what I'm using to motivate me. It's not really working. It was for about 2 days and now I'm back to wanting to sleep again. Z's clothes are all over the living room. We were going to split them up by the size on the label until we realized a Carter's 3m is twice the size of a Target 3m. None of the sizes actually match up. So we're eyeballing it and trying to group them together. In addition packing my hospital bag seems to be taking forever. And by taking forever, I mean I just haven't gotten a bag and put anything into it.

I think I'm trying to postpone the inevitable. Our last doctor's appointment has me a little concerned. We went over my birth plan. Most people have said that they are useless, including my mother, but my doctor wanted us to bring one in. I'm not really a stickler for much. I didn't have any crazy requests, I just wanted to be sure that Liam/my mom/grandmom could be there, I could listen to music, move around if I wanted, hold the baby right after, things like that. I am also not opposed to an epidural although the thought of the needle in my spine makes me cringe. Once I'm actually in labour I don't think I'll care about a huge needle in my back, but right now it freaks me out to no end. I just said that I didn't want to see the needle at all, if I were to get one. Then it was time for my doctor to weight in and she tried to convince me that the recovery from a C-section was easier than regular birth. Now I've never given birth, but as the oldest of 15 grandchildren, I have seen plenty of moms recovering from childbirth. NONE would ever say that a C-section is an easier recovery. It looks like I'm going to be sitting at home until I feel like I'm going to split in half until I go to the hospital, so they don't try to force a C-section on me. If it is necessary for my safety or that of the baby of course I would get one, but if it's so that the hospital can clear out the delivery room a bit quicker I'm not budging! And with that I need to get studying!!!

P.S. Hospital Bag

2010-11-10T06:09:00.004-05:00

We haven't packed one yet, but any suggestions on what we should bring? The hospital is only 10 mins away, so it isn't like Liam couldn't run back and get something, but it would be nice to have everything there. The standard stay is 3 days for regular delivery and 5 for C-section. I'm thinking comfy old pjs, computer, ipod, chargers, pregnancy ball, slippers, socks, nursing bras, zipper front sweatshirt, toiletries, baby hospital leaving outfit. Does this seem like a good list?

Tax isn't so scary anymore

2010-11-10T05:34:00.003-05:00

I haven't looked at the exams yet, but just going through all of the stuff I missed has made it a lot less scary. The prof is crazy organized, so it entails a lot of flipping through regulations, statutes, casebook and outlines, but it makes it a lot easier to follow. I've been highlighting, underlining and tabbing up my books like crazy. My outline/notes packet is already about 100 pages long and I'm not sure how the hell I'm going to chop it down. The amount of statutes and regulations are enough to fill an outline of more than 200 pages. All that said, it's fairly easy to follow. I'm sure I'll screw up all of the math calculations, but the theory and reasons behind it actually seems to be sticking. I'm making progress a little behind the pace I set for myself, but I feel like I was being overly ambitious.

In addition to everything going on my father in law flew in last night. We picked him up at the airport at 3am. We got back to the house at 4am. Talk about delirious. Liam and I are a bit loopy today and I got a freaking nap after getting up to make Liam breakfast before he went to work at 6am. And he can't even nap after work because we have a doctor's appointment. I'm thinking he's going to pass out tonight! But I don't feel too bad, he's got tomorrow off as well as all of next week. He'll also be playing a full round of golf with his dad twice in the next 4 days. I think he's ok with the sacrifice of no sleep for a night. They boys being away at the golf club will also give me more time to study. It will be at least 8 hours (golf+meal+drinks) of uninterrupted time to get my stuff done.

Or I'll spend it baking more bread, which isn't even a good excuse because we have a bread machine! We are no longer buying our bread. We're only baking it in the house. The bread here is terrible. I don't know wtf they do with it, but it isn't the best. We made our first loaf and that was it. We baked a loaf for one of our neighbors and they went out and bought a bread machine the next day. It would seem that none of could fully grasp how sucky it was until we had something good.

After I'm through my Tax catch up it will be time for Corps. And then hopefully it will be time for baby! Liam has been talking to my belly every night and trying to coax Z out. Sometimes he's sweet, other times stern and sometimes he just pokes him/her. I really can't wait to see our baby in his arms. I don't think he's going to want to put him/her down. If only the baby knew how excited we were to meet him/her! Another doctor's appointment today where we will do who knows what. I have to do the fetal monitoring again and I'll come prepared with apple juice and a nice slice of whole wheat bread. I don't think I have had any Braxton-Hicks contractions yet, which worries me. I don't want to be late. I really really really don't. I just hope Liam doesn't pass out and whack his head off of the exam table at the appointment. Back to studying! It seems that my second semester burst of energy is happening now and I'm taking advantage of it.